Aaron left today……and I don’t know what the future will hold. I’ve been crying since like 7:30. And I’ll cry until I see him again. How will I sleep? How will I do anything? I don’t think i’m going to eat until I hear from him…..even if it’s like 3 weeks. He better call me soon.

  I can’t believe he left. It’ll never be the same. He’s way too far away.

Theres something different about me. I have “popular” friends and some that aren’t so popular. Lots of people say I’m pretty but I don’t try to be. I don’t want to be the popular person with friends who are backstabbers to them, I want to be the person with great friends who will never hurt me. I don’t want to be the popular girl every guy wants to be with because she is sexy, I want to be the girl only one guy wants to get with because he thinks I’m beautiful inside and out. I don’t want to be the girl everyone wants to be, I want to be me.. the person no one else can be…

I’m really sad…but I had the greatest day. Here, imma try not to leave anything out. I went to Jessica’s and the guys were there. I read a letter Jim wrote Jessica in 2002. Then I read a Spanish dictionary. Aaron said Ethan was milky. Then I made Ethan a pretty birthday card that said “Have an awesometastic birthday!!” We sat around a lil bit switchin seats and all cuz we’re silly..Aaron sat on my footstool and drew me the HIM symbol…which is so great.

Then we got n the car. Now i’m talking about 6 people in a 5 seatin’ car. We were SOOO SCRUNCHED UP! Ethan was in the front. In the back it was Jessica, Tyler, Aaron & then me. Ethan didn’t buy me anything to drink so I pouted. But my buddy Tyler gave me his ice!! Yum Yum! Me & Aaron ate it of course like always with our ice..and he made me eat the pieces that were in his mouth again. And we poked each other all day. Even until like nighttime.

We got to the mall and decided we really didn’t wanna see a movie. We went to Spencer’s and hung out…then went to HOT TOPIC!!!!! I bought Tyler some HIM buttons and me a HIM button but I lost it..oh well. Aaron bought a HIM wallet. We went to Underground then. He bought a HIM beanie. It was hotttt. Then he fliiped me off. Yep, he did that. And I freaked out. So did the Chinese man behind the counter. So I killed him because the Chinese man said to! And I kicked him a million times also bc the chinese man said to. Don’t think he’s horrible because he flipped me off, either. Cuz he’s not.

Then we got fooooood. Ethan & Mrs Vickie got Chinese. Aaron, Jessica & Tyler got McDonalds. I got Chikfila. But I got unhungry so after half of my french fries and a chicken strip thing, so I gave it to Tyler. We then went to FYE…and had funnnn! Cuz Kurt Cobain is sexy. “Say he’s hott…just do it Aaron.” “He’s hott.” “I KNOW!!” And so then I was like FREAKING OUT cuz i wanted some coffee!!! Aaron said it’d be REALLY good so I begged him to walk with me…and then everybody came! Woo-hoo. Everybody follows Aaron, lol. We went to the Coffee Cafe and I got 2 frozen cappachinos and one iced one. We ended up throwing away the one with ice and Tyler drank the other frozen one. I bought that lil boy so much stuff today. He’s like my lil brother though. Could be my brother in law one day…….HAHAHA. That was so a joke.

We finally went outside and all that jazz….found Mrs Vickie. Piled up in the car. This time, Aaron sat on my “lappy” ..LOL It was soooo silly. Then we went to Target to buy blank cds….then got back in the car. He sat on me again cuz it was COMFY!! lol. We went to Sonic and I got some nasty sweet tea… The ride home was amazingly coool. We jammed…and I mean JAMMED! Mockingbird was a good jammin song lol. Listening to HIM was the best…Number one for Tyler. 3, 5 & 9 for Aaron..and 16 for me. Jessica sang number 3 really loud….and we all had a time crackin up. I cant wait to go listen to my cd. I hope it’s not in the car…which I know it is.

I’m officially a skank. I went to the gameroom. GAH IT WAS HORRIBLE! We all felt so skanky!! “Do you feel skanky?” “Yeeeeep.” “That’s cuz you are!” “Thanks Tyler…thanks.” It was fun though…the pool was great. Taking pictures was great. THE MUSIC GAVE US A GOOD LAUGH! We spent 75 cents on a song we all hated. Cuzz it played the wrong song-lol. Soooo hilarious. ‘I SWEAR I DIDNT PICK THAT ONE!’ “suuuuuure jessica.”

We got to the house and there’s a UHAUL in front of their house. Turns out, his mom and grandpa had it out…a big argument and now they’re going home tomorrow morning. I cried..so much. I tried to hold it in so he wouldnt feel bad..cuz he said people crying around him made him uncomfortable. But then I just busted…and he didn’t mind. He let me cry on his shoulder for a while and he hugged me alot. And he sat in my lap some more.

Then we went for a ride with everybody. He didn’t sit on my lap this time so I was kinda confused…but then we held hands. And it made life better. I still have butterflies. And i’m still crying. It was hard core amazing. I called him when I left Jessica’s and he was like Do you miss me yet? and i was like…..MMHMMM. He’s supposed to call me alot. And Tyler’s gonna write me, I hope. Tyler gave me a lil football to remember him. And Aaron gets his license in October….so yay. Ya know what that means??? It means he’s comin to see me, cuz i’m Hilary, hookers!! And Tyler’s comin too! I didn’t get to say bye to any of my girls. I assume I’ll catch them later.

This post is long enough. I just got a lotta more hurt poured on me by my girls…so i’m gone to cry and pray and be depressed and sleep….. if I can sleep that is….which I know I can’t. So I’m gone to lay in my bed and listen to Aaron’s favorite songs…..

“Don’t know that I will but until I can find me
A girl who’ll stay and won’t play games behind me
I’ll be what I am
A solitary man”

Tyler likes this one

“Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
for dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no”

I like ’em all.

BlueRainBliss: *hugs*
KoreanPirateCapN: *hugs*
KoreanPirateCapN: you are the best little sis ever
BlueRainBliss: youre the best big sis ever

BlueRainBliss: lol u think he looks skanky dontcha?
Argon Platypus: yep
Argon Platypus: lol
Argon Platypus: but i dno him

BlueRainBliss: And, you thought?
Carribeangurl05: he looks old

———-: wouldnt fall for a guy i had known for a week…especially if i knew he wasnt gonna be around
BlueRainBliss: you think I meant to?
BlueRainBliss: do you seriously think I meant to fall for him?
———-: doesnt really matter what i think…you did

^^that hurt^^ Rain, Smurfs & Fairytales, xoxo, hil*