I love how I can lay on my floor in the dark writing poetry listening to Good Charlotte as loud as I can get it to drown out everything else….. and they still think it’s a great time to come steal the DVD player so I can’t listen to my music. I frickin’ LOVE it. And then they yell at me. Because it’s great for Hilary to be just more upset. It’s so FRICKING wonderful to make Hilary cry! Ooh, let’s do that.

It’s a great time when you KNOW Hilary’s upset…to do something you KNOW is going to make her more upset. I mean, I ordered food..i’m listening to the depressive Good Charlotte songs..I’m in the dark..I’m laying on my FLOOR! But i’m HAPPY…yeah, right.

He’s still fussing at me about anything and everything. I don’t have my depressive music. I can’t stop crying. He’s still at it. Just shut up. Oh, words I’d love to write in my “journal”. This isn’t a journal. I can’t write my feelings in this crap. I have a cramp in my foot now. Rachel dropped the fan on my food…so now I can’t eat. I wanted to eat and be depressed..I WANTED TO RUIN MY DIET..or my not eatingness. I just wanted a frickin’ strawberry slush and lay on my floor and listen to HIM and cry over memories, but no!!! I get to sit here on the internet. I should call Aaron back and talk to him about this crap, cuz he’s been there…He is there. His parents yell all the time…I love his mom, though. Ethan’s gone for the weekend and Aaron isn’t feeling well. Talking about Aaron makes me feel better (swhat me n Jess always say). Aaron gets to go make his demo cd in like a week or maybe a bit longer. He talked to the “dude” today. He needs to talk to Lee and find his band members..That would make me really happy. He’s talking about future when they’re popular plans already, haha. But after this demo, they’re gonna make the real cd. And he’s already thinking about the 2nd cd…and a video…and a concert. He’s gonna come play for us though. He wants to film his video here…so something cool can happen in Caldwell. Isn’t that sweet of him? haha. I miss him. He’s supposed to call Hilary tomorrow. He told me to call him later tonight, but I didn’t feel like it at the time. I put him in the mood for skateboarding, though..after 2 hours of talking to me.

I just wanna be his friend, mmkay? Nothing more, but definitely nothing less. I talked to Tyler for a sec today, but he had to go put a shirt on cuz he was like…cleaning out the pool. “I’m FREEEEEZING!” I miss him, too.

Okay, I’m going to unplug this laptop (because I don’t give a…um….crap if my parents….um….gripe about it.) and play my depressive music on it. I’m tired of hearing them laugh watching that movie. I hate hearing people laugh when i’m upset.

Well, words that rhyme with well, xoxo, hil*

It’s Halloween all year here,
people dressing up to be somebody theyre not.