Well, I’ve had the worst morning in the history of Hilary.
Everything is my fault, I imagine. No idea why I even got UP this morning. I cried all morning about..well, various things. I’m fighting with most of the people I love. And I’m questioning my love for others. Well, not really, but it’s driving me insane. I fought with my Mom this morning and we both cried, so I just left. And then, I went to Roy’s and that was so pathetic, I wanted to slit throats. (a few, actually) So, I finally just left and then I fought with Rachel..so I ended up not going to Monroe to look at dresses or visit Grandmother..and Roy backed out so we didn’t go to Monroe. And now I’m grounded. After I fought with Rachel, I called and cried to Jeff…and then, I went to Jeska’s and we sat on the floor and cried together about everything for a while. This has been the worst start to a year yet. Roy’s daddy, Jeska’s papaw for two important things and then there’s these little bitty DRAMA stupid girls. It’s ALWAYS the same ones. It is SO childish! But, I just think that if someone needs space, i’ll give them as much as they’d like. I don’t want to make a friendship that doesn’t exist. I don’t really understand where this crap came from, but it just sprung up this morning and today has been shot. And, I’m grounded for the rest of my life. (Also Roy’s fault)
Jeska and Jeff are on their way to Winnsboro to buy a trampoline, methinks. I hope so. Not that I’ll be able to jump on it for a while, but yeah. Hmm, I think I’m going to go tan and walk in a lil bit…anything to get me away from this house. I told my Mom that I was going to turn into an alcoholic today. Or something. Blegh. I just hate people. I just want to see my Grandmother or JeffJeska. They love me…..so much. I don’t know what I’d do without ’em, i’m not gonna lie. Well, I guess I’m gonna go…*hugs* xoxo, hil* 
My independence is calling my name, a doubtful voice divides my faith. My independence only hesitates, an unsure choice I can’t embrace. You’re gonna have to carve me, carve me from stone, right to the bone or I’ll end up alone, playing the role; of someone in control.
Xanga 
I don’t know if you were trying to make me feel guilty or just saying. But I hope just saying because the last thing i need from you or anyone else is a guilt trip. I have a LOT going on. I’ve been studying all day and I’m taking a break and about to go get me and my mom some food. I’m sorry if I didn’t have time for you and it made you mad or something but then again-this is the first time in a lonnngg time when u had time for me. And I really think it’s because of circumstances anyway. Soo yeah-life sucks. Write a song. It usually helps to write something somewhere. Well I really gotta go get food n get back to studying so I’ll talk to u later.
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i love you SO much and no matter who you’re making mad – it’ll take A LONG time for me to ever get mad at you or fight with you!!!! you’ve done too much for me! and i’m sure you’ve done SO much for everybody else too! You’re a christian!!!! Never doubt that!!!! God is GREAT!
Monica ❤
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Aww Hilary I miss u!! Always remember I’m in the sticks if you wanna talk or need me!! : ) LOVE U!!
<333 Daniella
Things will get better!! I promise
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