Blast from the PAST

Look here. It’s already the 10th of July. Where’s the time gone? You know, it’s Landon’s second bday today. I can’t believe that. I miss that baby. I can’t believe he’s already 2. Doing things like that..not seeing him in almost 2 years..makes me hate myself.

I went to Milldale today with my children..and I saw Arlene! YAY! It made me really happy.. and I almost cried when we left. It felt so right being there..and so wrong leaving. I am going next year..no matter what. That place hold so much of me. Walking between the church and cafeteria today was like walking through my past. Memories and bits and pieces of me bounced off the walls. They surrounded me and for a second, I thought I might drown in the realness. I remembered who I was.. but as we drove down Milldale road towards home, it all faded.

I have nothing else to say. BBBS training is cancelled because we never signed up? We’re losers. Or I am anyway.