The things I’d never tell you, but I’d like to.

28.) Meredith-  I kinda wish I would’ve hung out with you more when you were interested in it. Because now I’m doing most of the things you’ve always done. The things that seperated us.// And you’ll never know anything about who I turn in to. Because you moved on when you had the chance.

27.) Whitney- I used to would have told you “this too shall past.” But if I told you that right now, I’m not sure I’d believe myself. Don’t grow into the people you meet.. Grow into yourself. I wish somebody would’ve really told me that before the 10th grade because I’m having to slowly pick slivers of others out of me so I can heal and really be myself.

26.) Danielle- You’re better than you give yourself credit for. You deserve more than working Saturday nights at a minimum wage job. Oh hunnie, I miss you so much. Your smile reminded me that no matter what happened, everything was going to be okay. I never got to connect with you like I wanted to and I just miss sitting around talking to you about Ashlee Simpson. Whenever you basically disappeared from my life, everything just became so….grown up. If I did, I never meant to push you away. And now that you’re gone, I wish you’d just come back.

25.) Dawn- Don’t get caught up in the ways of the world like I have. Be strong baby..be strong.

24.) JJ- I know sometimes I can be a real bitch to you and I’m sorry. Sometimes, I don’t know how to treat you. It’s f’n weird to think of you and think of how much I despise your grandma. I love your Mom and your brothers and hanging out at your house with the palm tree and the trampoline, but being your friend is really hard for tons of reasons.

23.) Kori- I want to get through to you. Down past all of your attention seeking and fake lesbianism. I want to get to know you because I know that there’s more to you than what you’re showing. I’m floating between friend and not friend with you because I’m testing myself to see how much I can handle.

22.) Tony- You’ve never really tried that hard to be involved with my life and that has seriously cut me deep. I have spent 17 years of my life thinking you were my big brother and loving you as such. I never cut you out of my life. You can’t do so much when you’re 12 years old and your big brother (who never really called anyway) moves to Colorado. When I was a kid, you made the biggest impact on me. You taught me all of the dirty words I know and and…I really fucking miss you. I miss you playing the guitar and singing..I miss just hanging out with you. If I saw you right now, I wouldn’t know how to treat you because I don’t know you anymore. You’re important to me and you mean the world to me just as much as you always have. But you don’t know me and until you being the big brother take time to ask me what my favorite color is….you won’t know me.

21.) Penguin- I wish you’d go to college and make something of yourself. You have a lot of talent and you could go places. But it’s okay because I love you anyway. And I wish you’d quit apologizing. It’s okay that you stepped on my foot or that you got drunk last Saturday. I’m okay with you as you are. You don’t have to apologize for anything.

20.) Carr- Sometimes, you really disappoint me. But nothing you could ever do would make me quit loving you. I’m glad you’re back with Ashley, but don’t fall into the routine of it like last time. And..don’t forget that you’re still a kid. But I do love her, so I’m not saying I don’t. I do. and I want you to be with her if she makes you happy. But the thing is: I want you both to be happy with the lives you’re living.

19.) Jody- I miss you so much. I miss the Jody who called me and wanted to hang out, the Jody that would get drunk and text me at 2 am, the Jody that knew me and cared about me and thought of me as a sister. The Jody who talked to me about his problems and consulted with me before the lip ring…I guess you’re happy with Jessica now..but I still miss you. I miss you oh so much.

18.) Arlene- You are amazing. And I know you don’t believe it. You don’t believe that you are the definition of gorgeous and that breaks my heart because you are so so so so so pretty and have the greatest smile and south Louisiana accent. =]

17.) Jessica- I miss you, as well. We never were that close and I do still lovelovelove you and hug you and tell you I love you every day. But I miss you being free to roam, so to speak.

16. Melissa- Give me time, I’m growing into me..just give me time. Don’t give up on me yet. I’ll be fun soon.

15.Kaylin- Since I was 12 years old, I’ve wanted to be just like you. You were my role model, my teacher, my friend, my big sister. All of the paths you took even the bad ones, especially the bad ones, I wanted to follow. And I have in all situations I’m capable of pursuing. Whenever I was a sophomore, I was really afraid that I’d follow you because of fate..and then I realized I’m following you because of choice. And here lately, I began to waver and stray from your footsteps. And so now, I’m kind of walking with you..like beside you. Ohmygod kaylin. There’s so much I just want to tell you and I want you to tell me.

14. Eric- Whenever you started dating Tiffany, I lost you. I lostlostlostlost you and everything we had. Giving me things won’t bring back the time we’ve lost and as much as I hate it, we don’t know each other like we once did. Plus, I know I’m disappointing you.

13.) Kolter- You’re making yourself grow up way too fast. Stop before you’re 100 at 16.

12.) Will- We differ on a lot of things..especially how we view people. And sometimes, I get aggravated when you put down people that I love with my whole heart. But I love you and I’d take up for you the same way.

11.) Catfish- I don’t want you to think of me in a bad light just because of one night. I don’t want to break down a reputation 17 years in the making. Oh yeah, quit falling for stupid girls! +

10.) Mom- You’ve done everything you possibly could and taught me to go in the right directions and make the best decisions and I love you so much. Even if I don’t make the good decisions all of the time, everytime I do make one, it’s because of you.

9.) Justin- Womanizer. I want to get to know you better..you’re one of my best friends, but I have no idea what makes you happy, sad, mad, excited, nervous, sick.

8.) Amanda- Whenever you remember who you really are, let me know. kthnxbye

7.) Roy- I love how right now you want to be best friends, but you have at times been a complete asshole to us this past year. I hope you’re happier though. I miss you so much. You know that anytime you want to come home, we’ll welcome you with open arms.

6.) Dock- Sometimes the things you do make me want to yell at you. My sister is a freaking princess and it really hurts her when you do some of the stuff you do. But I love you and am so glad to call you my brother.

5.) Rusty- You came back into my life at this completely random  moment and it filled the void that I had in my heart. You were the piece of my past that I was expecting and when you came back, I filled up with happiness. I’m so glad we’re friends again. You mean the world to me. But since we have the past we do, I constantly fear that you’re going to tire of me.

4.) Rachel- Hey look! I’m you! 🙂 You are my best friend and my everything! I dunno how I’d ever live without you.

3.) Jeff- After all of this time, there’s still unresolved problems in the middle and who knows if they’ll ever be fixed. I hate when you hide from me. 

2.) Sam- If it’s true and I know and you know I know, don’t pretend it’s not happening. I’m a big girl and I can handle anything I’m thrown. There are so many things I wish I could tell you. The way that I’m so happy whenever they’re shocked.

1.) Jeska- We’ve never exactly loved each other equally. Lately, I found it leveling, but that was only because it was just you & me. I still get nervous that during the summer, you’re going to go to your aunt’s and not answer my calls.