We’re killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb.

I didn’t cheat today. For the first complete day.

I thought about cheating a lot.

Nic fits are shit.

I’d smoke right now if I hadn’t given away all my cigarettes.

I’m so glad I did though. I don’t like to cheat.

I didn’t get to celebrate Heartagram day as I wanted to.

I didn’t wake up until 5:30 this evening.

And then I wore a side pony tail and went to the movies w Jeff, Jeska, JJ & Kolter.

Birds…scream at the top of their lungs every 
morning at daybreak to warn us all of
the truth…but sadly we don’t speak bird.
-Kurt Cobain’s journal

We saw Untraceable or something such. It was gory, but it ended up being pretty good.

I did not have the best time.

And I was cold. I’m always cold. I text you in a group of people because I’m lonely. Especially when cigarette smoke is being blown into my face along with the piercing freezing air.

You make life so hard on me.

She’s a mess and she’s well aware of it.
Her life has broken into a thousand little pieces
and she doesn’t know where the pieces have gone.
She stands a stranger in her own skin.
She wants to get out of where she lives,
just like everyone else in her small town.
She’ll fake a smile if it means you’ll stop talking.
All she wants is to be saved. She’s not afraid to laugh at herself,
or others. Her schedule does not permit her to have a bed time,
and she doesn’t mind. Late night conversations are her fuel.
She gives good advice but doesn’t take any.
She’s always in her own little world.
She has a certain way for everything.
She never tells secrets and doesn’t plan on growing up.
At the same time, she’s extremely mature.
She’s not your average pink-loving, hair-twirling girl.
She likes her personal space and gets embarrassed
when people call her beautiful.
She curses too much and is a mess of bad habits.
She prefers to hang out with the boys,
because the girls are always so demeening & rude.
She wants to be the kidest soul you know,
but it’s hard to not carry around hate.
She believes that a breath at a time is the only working plan,
and doing coloring books is her favorate hobby-other than writing.
She wishes somebody would call her a fallen angel,
cause she tries to be so damn good. She just wants happiness.

I’m so stressed… I’m so messed up… I’m so struggling right now. Struggling to get up in the morning. Whenever I was hugging Jeska before I left tonight, I started crying. And I just thought “WTF!”

You were all I wanted last night. You’re always around when I don’t need you…but when I do, you’re busy.

I just sit in Waffle House like I’m meant to be there and drink my coffee..and eat my waffles.

I just wanna smoke pot and love everybody.

On days like this, I miss Aaron. And I wish you’d accept that about me.

I hope you don’t grow up to be me. Drunk on the roof and yelling at God.

Rusty owes me fifteen dollars. He’s going to forget.

I’m so glad I have a job now.

Well, I’m going to bed..I have to be up in 5 hours for church. So I’m going sleep w/ Ville Valo in my ears. I just wish you’d be next to me when I awoke.