But even at her worst, she ain’t that bad…

I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again. Not ever again. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

© The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.”
-the five people you meet in heaven

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we
are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is
only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely
to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or
truer answers.
– M. Scott Peck

I’ve got to start thinking about Sam’s birthday present. Gotta think of something amazing for le twenty-one.

Mi madre recieved an “anonymous call” about my boozin’, eh? I thought it pretty ridiculous and lame. What, are we twelve? My mom is absolutely flipping shit in her mind, but I think she’s trying not to freak me out. Whoever tried to ruin my life loses which is hilarious. I’m still going to the lake tomorrow.

Roy has been declared the big brother. He shall take care of me and not let me out of his sight or do anything scandalous. Plan accordingly.

I ran into Jody in the mall today and he spent the day with me. I bought a bathing suit at Old Navy which is rather revealing. You can see my pretty bruise on my left breast. Who is ready to answer lots of inquiries? Not me! “Oh, this? Oh! It’s nothing.”

I also bought a new purse because my makeup busted in my regular one. I went from classy to hippie. Me gusta though, so it doesn’t matter. And, its completely acceptable. I asked advice of a Spencers employee. I also went to Haskells w/ Jody & his mommy. It was an adventure. She’s an interesting lady.

Whenever I got home, I slept a lot. I usually do. I shaved my legs and then took a nap. I do it so I can stay up laaate. But I’m waking up early tomorrow, so this isnt the best idea. At some point, Roy came and got me and we went and bought cigarettes, went to Sonic for some grub and then smoked a cigarette together in the bank parking lot.

I miss my Sonic buddies quite a bit.

I also miss Folly Molds. And my life in books. I shall go read a chapter now and then probably sleep for an hour or two before I have to get up and wash clothes and pack! I’m so nervous about the trip, but I am also STOKED! This will be my sneak peak into my future college life. It’s going to be one hell of a ride.