Christmas break is halfway over.
I just feel like crying. Not because it’s almost over..but just because it’s been so amazing. It’s been a replay of last year. It’s been exactly what I needed. ALSO though–
It’s been exactly what I needed to make me realize I’m not fuckn over him. :[
I’ve had good talks with Jeska. I’m so glad that we’re friends again. She’s the only person in the world who really gets me. Besides Rusty. And she knows even more than he does, so it’s a big deal.
It’s Brian’s last night in town and we’re getting trashed. I hate it when he comes down..because it just makes me so unbearably sad. I swear I’ll cry for days after he leaves. But tonight shall be amazing. The only thing that would make it better is if Hillary would be there, but we’ve already had our expected drunk night with Hill. So we can’t get another one since she has to hang out with Drave n Justin.
Christmas Eve was terrible. I don’t even want to remember it.
Christmas was pretty great. I went up to Grandmother’s for a little bit and then left to smoke a cigarette with Amber and then went straight to Rusty’s and stayed there the entire day. I bonded with his family a lot and it made me extremely happy. =]
The other night, I stayd at Rustys w/ him, Jeska, Brian, Eric n Hill. And we played Suck & Blow again. Just like last year, but I actually participated this year. :] Everybody ended up kissing actually. It was funny. Kissing Eric was completely awkward, but oh wells! I just love hanging out and being stupid! ^_^
“I swear I didn’t mean for it to feel like this…like every inch of me is bruised…”
The most fun we’ve had so far is the night after Christmas, we went up to Chad’s and then we came home because it sucked. And we wanted to drink a lil bit down at Jeska’s land. So we were gonna do that, but we decided to go over to Kristin’s. But THEN…we got the cavalier stuck in a HUGE ass mud hole thing. It was just me, Fisk, Jeska n Brian.. and we didn’t know what to do. So yeah.. We called Penguin and he brought this huge ass truck to pull us out and IT GOT STUCK! So while they tried to get it out for four hours, Jeska me and Brian sat in the car and listened to music. ^.^ It was beautiful. I enjoyed it sooo much. And then whenever we got it unstuck, we went back to Monroe on ZERO sleep. :] It was just completely fantastic.
Things are so different between me and everyone I know. I’m so different.
All apologies.
xoxo, hil* 
Xanga 