When I got home from school, I realized that my underwear was on inside out. I.Am.Cool.

It’s pouring down rain outside..I love it so much. It’s very pretty.

Mr. Foy is allowing me to take a retest so that I can bring up my F to a D in Physics. I’m really nervous-like.

She’s giving boys what they want
Tries to act so nonchalant
Afraid they’ll see that she’s lost her direction
She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she’ll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfections
She’s not a drama queen,
She doesn’t wanna feel this way
Only 17, but tired
She would change everything
For happy ever after
Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
Cuz she’s just the way she is
But no one’s told her that’s okay
She would change everything, everything
Just ask her.

The Mercy Me concert is tomorrow and I am beyond excited. It’s been so long since I’ve gone to a good Christian concert! I’m really happy about it. Concerts=LoOoOove.

I don’t want to forget those nights.
Those nights that meant so much at the time for the both of us.
I don’t want to forget those feelings of being infinite.
Of being the teenager I wish I could still be.
I’m a teenager still, I’m just not who I used to be.
We’re not what we used to be.

I’ve been running Rachel’s errands after school. They make me feel grown up.

I’ve got to go on Monday and get my college shots! Isn’t that exciting? After that, I’m going to send out my Tech application! Woo-hoo!

I have a Calculus and World History test tomorrow. Plus..a Physics lab. That makes me nervous!! But yeah, I took Jeska to get her chicken pox vaccine part 1 today. And it hurtttted her. and I felt like teh mommy.

I keep saying my life is major suckage, but it’s not all that bad. People are driving me crazy, but I think I’m alright. Put a little love in your heartttttt. Mm-mm, Ebay.

xoxo

Lost in an image, in a dream,
but there’s no one there to wake her up.
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning.
But tell me what happens when it stops?

Yeah//

I quit speech.

Shut up.

Happy birthday Eric-O<3 I love you times 2567243087 always! I remember the first time I talked to you..and you thought I was Amy Stephens.

Maybe it won’t rain later. I’ll pay for some stuff when we do fun stuff, hmkay?

I think my life is in ruinssss, mehbeh.

I think Austin is gonna start after school program thingy. Allllllllllrighty then.

I’m so ready for Mercy Me..and Frankenstein. Oh baby.

See you later baby.

My sister and Mom are helllllla dissapointed in me. Wth ever.

xoxoxoxoxoxo hil

 

 

 

I’m tired of hating my body. I’m close to being an adult. I’ve been through and dealt with things that a lot of other people couldn’t imagine going through and I’ve come out stronger. My body does not in any way show who I am on the inside. Just because I’m overweight doesn’t mean that that reflects who I am on the inside! I’m tired of thinking that I’m not good enough just because I’m not skinny!

I’m strong, I’m talented, I’m smart, I’m loyal, I’m compassionate. I am in no way inferior to anyone else because of my weight or my appearance.

When I hear my friends talk about how they were “when they were fat”, it tears me apart because I’m still there! Everything they say about the past describes my here and now! But i’m done with feeling like that. No more!

I don’t care that guys don’t think I’m pretty! I don’t care that I’m 17 years old and have never had one boyfriend. That doesn’t matter to me! What matters to me is who I am on the INSIDE. I may not deserve all of the wonderful things in the world, but I do deserve MY love!

I do love myself. I am beautiful.

Don’t try to bring me down.

Homecoming was the best. I almost cried throughout the ceremony.. I just can’t believe it’s my last as a student. Next time I see girls walk, I’ll be alumni.. it’s crazy..socrazy.

Abby Hart won queen and Taylor Smith won princess. It was a good decision..it was what I expected. :]] and I love them both.

The game was fun last night..we sat with our little emo kids and just hung out a lot. For the first time all season, we actually WON. The score was like 39-8 or 32-8 or something like that.

After the game, we went and built a fire at the old Grayson place and sat by it for a while. It was really nice and special. Spending that time with Jeska & Jeff really meant a lot to me.

I’m about to take a shower and then go to the Art Festival for a lil while with Rachel. Catchayalata.

<33 xoxo

“Take the clouds from your eyes and see me as I really am.”
 -Don Quixote

Hmm. Today was fun. The bonfire was really amazing..I can’t believe it’s our last one. It was perfect, though. And it burnt my face off. I’m so excited for tomorrow…but I’ve got to go take a shower and sleep because I’m SO TIRED!!

Maybe we should go out this weekend? I think I’m ready for that. Quite possibly.

Homecoming = best photo ops ever

I’m totally excited.

 

 

Hippie Day was alright. Got a lot of laughs.

Tomorrow, I’m wearing a random LSU shirt, I think. Randomly. M-hm.

Two years…seems just like yesterday.

How emo are you, baby?

I hate couples.

Got over that one fast, didn’t you?

I’d do anything to make you understand..but I don’t understand.

Going shopping tomorrow with my siiister. I’m exxxxcited. Maybe. ❤

xoxoxo, hil*

 

 

 

So I feel a bit better. But honestly not so much.

Johnny’s was fun last night.

Sleeping was nice today.

Tomorrow is Hippie Day. I’m nervous..and I’m totally freaked out about my Calc & Physics test…pray for me..please.

Oh, oh, oh, maybe Fair tomorrow night? Yes, please ❤ This is going to be the BEST WEEK EVER

My weekend was fantastic. On Friday, me and Jeska and Roy stayed at Jeff’s. We watched Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It was totally funn! And scary! :] Roy got there about 1:30am or something. On Saturday, we just hung around the house and watched Simpsons Halloween specials and stuff until about 1. Me, Jeff and Jeska went to Monroe at like 2 something. I was proud of myself because I didn’t buy ANYTHING! I’ve got Jeska, Jeff, Roy and Rachel all paid for for Christmas! I’m now working on Sam and my family. We stayed at Jeff’s again last night and watched Scream 2. I seriously did get afraid at one point. lol. We went to bed really early…like 11. And I woke up this morning at 7, got ready for church and all that jazz. After church, me, Rachel, Dock & Sam went to San Miguels like a cute lil family. It was rather…fabulous. ❤

At 2, we went to Nonnie’s funeral.. I cried so muchh. When the funeral was over, I drove home by myself and seriously bawled..it finally hit me..and I just cried really hard the whole way home. I hadn’t told her how much I loved her in probably 5 years. She was my 6th grade teacher and she was fun. But, she was my drill team sponsor..and she loved me. And I loved her. She could be strict…but she was always loving. And I have so many memories of her showing her love to me. The memory of Nonnie that just stands out the most..was our drill team competition at ULM. I was really upset because all my friends were riding in the vehicle together and I was left out..and Mrs. Whitten asked me to ride with her..so I rode to ULM with Nonnie and Poppy. And I just felt so close to them that day. They made me so happy when I was so upset. And she did that to me many times. Whenever she saw I was upset, she tried to make it better for me. I loved her.

Would you sign a pre-nup before getting married? Why or why not? Ew, probably not! Nobody knows if a marriage is really going to last or not in this day and age!

Parent Teacher Conference Day = the most fun! I got 100 dollars for making all A’s on my report card which was wonderful and well deserved, I might add! Since I got the cash, I decided to go to Monroe and go shopping for myself! I spent A LOT of the money! I bought some new shoes, a hippie peace sign necklace, a bracelet from Hot Topic, two books, liquid eyeliner, a Halloween card and some Subway. The books I bought are A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown and The True and Outstanding Tales of the Hunt Sisters. I think! Aww, I hear My Savior, My God on the tv!! I love it when my Dad watches this channel after school! It makes my heart smile. Anyway, after the mall, I went with Amanda to Mohawk(s?), ate a free salad and hung out with Amber & Amanda’s friend, Kateland. It was lots of fun. I didn’t get home until like 8:30 or something! Before I got home, I randomly ran into Sam on the road and we talked for a couple minutes like old black men before turning in for the night.

Today was pretty bland..I’m really stressed out about A LOT of school work and it’s terrifying. And speech is killing me..I have no idea why I ever joined. I’m so nervous. Remember…I’m SHY. Whatever.. I’m going to clean my room or run or something productive.

If that’s what it takes to praise you, Jesus, bring the rain.

Now..I hear Butterfly Kisses. It kind of makes me wanna cry. Hmm, I took Fatie Kolds home today from Speech. She’s a sweet girl. I like her. We should be friends.