Papaw George isn’t doing well. He went to the ER yesterday and stayed at Citizen’s last night. We stayed up there with the family for a while until they put him into a room. He’s home now, but he needs your prayers. It’s not looking good and I don’t even know what to do.

I stayed with Jeska last night and I didn’t get to bed until 2:30. I was writing articles and worrying and being on Red Bull. We jumped on somebody’s trampoline last night..scary.

Johnny’s with AWANA tonight. WOO BUDDY. I love my crazy hookahs like Haley and Logan….lol. Later, we went to Columbia Heights to see Roy, Joseph and Kathleeen! I loveeeee those kids. Paige, Kyle…superfun. I LOVE my Columbia Heights youth group, lol.

*sigh* I’m out, okay? I’m scared of failing Journalism.

Sunday….what did I do Sunday?

OH YES, I spent it with my most favorite cousin in all of the worlds, Amanda Christine! Me, her and Jeska went to San Miguels for lunchhh and then I had familia time for the rest of the day. We pretty much watched Miami Ink and other tattoo shows all day. Gawwsh, I want a tattoo! And my piercings. NOW. This weekend, I’m going to try to talk my Mom into taking me to Monroe & ima get my second and third holes in my ears!! WOO BUDDY! Im EXCITED! And I need to look for prom dresses…bluhh.

I’m looking for a ride to Tennessee on April 19th if anybody is interested in driving that far. I have plans to attend COLLEGE DAYS 2007!! It’s at Tennessee Temple University (the best college in the world) and it’s going to be great. I get to stay on the campus for two nights and get a tour and everything. I emailed Liz from TTU and she said I could get a school excuseeeee! SCORE. Plus, Mac Powell and Brian Littrell, David Nasser and SHANE&SHANE will be there. I’m EXCITED! It’s for sophomores, juniors and seniors..and I’m ready to be there. I’m in love with Tennessee Temple.

Remediation started today and it is lame. I have Mrs McIlwain and Mr. Williams for now..and he’s a trip. and Mrs McIlwain loves me? Yes, I do declare.

xoxo, hil*

 

My face itches for serious. I think I’m burnt. I love tanning bed burns…oh sexy sexy. I love the tanning bed in general. I bought 300 minutes today and I intend to lay every single one of themmm. So…my weekend. Yesterday sucked. I was agitated with myself all day..Am I going completely crazy? I vote yes. But I stayed the night with Jeska. We went to Mobil at like midnight and bought a nacho from The Superkrunk guy. Mobil makes me high, lol. It’s SO lively in there. Especially that late. I love it.

Today was fun. We went grocery shopping and got Mrs Vickie to grill for us! We had burgers, baked beans, baked potatoes, macaroni & ice cream. YUMM! I was in food heaven. Especially the brownie ice creamm..oh buddy!! I just had the best day.. Amanda and her friend Matt showed up at Rachel’s and I went over there and awkwardly visited with them for like 30 min to an hour. She’ll be back tomorrow to go to church with us and hang out. I love Amanda! and her lip ring! Thennnnn, I tanned after I rode around. I tanned for 20 minutes and I think Im burnt. I love it tho.

SO…..when can I stop being the good girl? HMM? I NEED AN ANSWER. Or a cigarette. No..no..just an answer. GAH, I’m so ready for my piercings. xoxo, hil*

Every time we go our separate ways,
we somehow always manage to find that road;
the one that led us back to each other

Behind a bad reputation & the horrible rumors
is the girl that she really is.
The girl people don’t ever take the time to get to know.

Sometimes late at night
I lie awake and watch her sleeping
She’s lost in peaceful dreams
So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark
And the thought crosses my mind
If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel
About her in my heart

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself
To say each day how much she means to me
And avoid that circumstance
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she’s my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

 

I am in love with Garth. Did I tell that to anyone yet? Oh yes, I am! lol. Hrm…today I had a Chemistry test. I won’t find out what I made until Monday, but I REALLY studied. I was proud of me. YESTERDAY was SO much fun. We spent the majority of the time together doing gymnastics in the grass! lol. It was way too much fun. I did it again today by myself. I love to be outside SO much! *yawn* I’m tired of being tired! I have to study American History tonight, but then I want to finish the third sisterhood book! yay! I’m going prom dress shopping this weekend. BLUH! I’m going with Meredith & Jeska..so it should be interesting. I think Jeff might even tag along. I DETEST dress shopping. I am SO fat. I’m always okay with myself until we get to that STUPID dress shop and I have to try on a size 30!!!!! lol. Seriously though. I wear a 15 in pants..which means my dress will have to be like a size 100!!! *DIES* It’s SO embarrassing. But at least it’ll just be me, jeska, meredith & jeff. I trust them a whole lot and it’ll be okay if I cry. I’m going on a diet until prom. But anyway, enough of that stupid talk. Neither me or Jeska really wanna go..but we have to, ya know? This is why…

I have this girlfriend who didn’t go to hers, and every once in a while, she gets this really terrible feeling–you know, like something is missing. She checks her purse, and then she checks her keys. She counts her kids, she goes crazy, and then she realizes that nothing is missing. She decided it was side effects from skipping the prom. –Pretty in Pink

So I’m going to go and I’m going to be happy with it, but I refuse to come home afterwards. I shall return home…the next day at some point. I plan to watch the sun come up. Yes, that is definitely what I plan. I want it to be a real prom experience for me..being barefoot and happy and twirling around like everything is wonderful. I’m getting more excited. I’m off like a dirty shirt. –xoxo, hil*

Another fun day.

I tumbled in the school yard. teehee. And I went to Clarks and walked and ran around and acted 5 and then sat on the swingset and talked about the future. Bluh. Thennn we went and hung out with Sam Sharp and Seth & Sam for a lil bit until piano. Piano was okay..im glad I remembered to go this week. Later on, me and Jeska went to eat at Grayson Seafood with Will. I had a really good time..The food kinna sucked…a lot. But I laughed a lot and enjoyed myself. I GOT MY OC AND LAGUNA!!! WOOO! I’m excited. We visited with my sister for a while because Dock is in NO for work this week.

Ima start letting Jeska drive around in Rachel’s car on the backroads cuz she needs practice. I’ll be a good teacher. aha. Omgah, Jeff drove my car around the block yesterday and I was SO SCARED the whole time! AHHH! lol. Well…I should go. I’m REALLY tired. I’m sleepy in my heart. Tomorrow will consist of MAJOR STUDYING.

You find a glimmer of happiness in this world,
there`s always someone who wants to destroy it.
– * Finding Neverland * –

You’re cynical & beautiful,
You always make a scene.
You’re monochrome, delirious
You’re nothing that you seem.
I’m drowning in your vanity,
Your laugh is a disease.
You’re dirty and you’re sweet,
You know you’re everything to me

Oh my goodness at the weekend.

Last night = I don’t remember much. For a completely sober child, I cannot remember a thing. There’s just something about brownies, incense, records and scary stories. The posse ended up in my car for like an hour or longer and we just lay there..and we told stories and tried to sleep and it was just fun. I lovve those kids a whole bunch sometime. Then, we went over to Jeff’s and NO idea what that even consisted of. I remember laying on the floor and being really cold and really warm at the same time. I remember Jeff switching records a lot and Jeska’s sunglasses breaking at the end of the night. I love the carpet and I love the heater. I love everything about Jeff’s house. Anyway, we left his house about 2..and got to Jeska’s but I dont know how we managed that. I woke up this morning in the most random clothes..lol. Fun times. And completely sober!

Today was halfandhalf. My mom made me sad all day. But I got over it. She’s been making up rules and I’ve been sad. But for thirty minutes straight, we rode around aimlessly. The wind was blowing fiercely. I had one foot on the gas and the other out the window. My sunglasses were on and my hair was blowing in the wind. One hand was on the wheel and the other out the window. And in that thirty minutes, I was completely happy. I felt as if NOTHING could touch me there. 🙂 I tumbled and did cartwheels in the grass and taught Jeff kinda. And cleaned for a while. And finally, we went back to Jeska’s and town and such. We saw Mr. Hillman and honked and waved!! And then..we saw Mr. keith & Mrs Mary at TA’s while I was filling up my car. When I left here today, we listened to We’re Not Gonna Take It..and it made me smile so much. It makes me feel good to take out my anger during a song.

SAMMM..I love you and I’ll spend time with you..and you can tell me your troubles and I’ll throw them out the window. The end.

Peace, Love & Icons, xoxo, hil*

 

 

HOLA!

This weekend….woo. It’s not over. I’m so stoked. I loOove 3day weekends. I so love my presidents!! So yeah, Friday, I sat at home..and got over it. Yesterday…was lovely and fun. I spent the day with mi amigos…went to Monroe. It was fun. I’m not gonna lie, I bought a Spice Girls CD from Cottonport…and I bought Megan a record that she asked for. Go me. And…we went to Books A Millionnn and the malll and I had lots of fun time. And…we listened to Garth. 🙂

Today..= fun. Church was good this morning..I enjoyed it..and then we went and ate at Johnnys with Dock, Rachel & Tony. And..had a crazy experience with this one guy–lol. Odd at the time. Andddd rode around for a long time chiLLin’ and trying to find a friend because Jeff was reading and we have no more friends. But we ended up at Jeff’s anyway and we watched Silence of the Lambs until 345..’n went to the showwww at Columbia Heights. It was a rly great service…I loved it. Then finished the movie at Jeff’s..and now it’s 720 and I’m here watching Black Sabbath on this 100 greatest rock..somethings. Good stuff..Who is # 1?? I vote..yeah, I don’t know. WHO IS IT?!? Here it is…..It’s ZEPPELIN. Definitely works. 🙂

Anyway…I love weekends..and they’re FUN. I live for my weekends! AND FOR NOT COMPLAINING ANYMORE!

“I Am”

I’m an angel, I’m a devil
I am sometimes in between
I’m as bad it can get
And good as it can be
Sometimes I’m a million colors
Sometimes I’m black and white
I am all extremes
Try figure me out you never can
There’s so many things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am

I’m someone filled with self-belief
And haunted by self-doubt
I’ve got all the answers
I’ve got nothing figured out
I like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I’m up and I am down
But that’s part of the thrill
Part of the plan
Part of all of the things I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am

I’m a million contradictions
Sometimes I make no sense
Sometimes I’m perfect
Sometimes I’m a mess
Sometimes I’m not sure who I am

I am special
I am beautiful
I am wonderful
And powerful
Unstoppable
Sometimes I’m miserable
Sometimes I’m pitiful
But that’s so typical of all the things I am

Blegh. Valentine’s Day. Pretty lame. But I got some stuff. My mom gave me a heart full o’ chocolate and some fuzzy pink flip flops from Avon. When I got in my car, my sister had left me a big teddy bear and the fourth sisterhood book!! Jeska burnt me her annual awesome Vday CD!!! I loved it. Jeff burnt me the Pink Floyd CDs I wanted..yay. Then, I got two balloons and stuffed animals at school from the parentals and mi hermana. And Cierra gave me some cookies and I got a Valentine from Nikki, Amanda, Jessica Girod, Cierra & Leanne. And Mr. Hillman gave us M&Ms!! It was all in all…good. I wasn’t in the best spirits all day…but it was nice. Coach Cross wasn’t there so we all hung out in the gym and I talked to Meredith, Jeff and Lucero and had fun.

After school, me and the J-kids went to Johnny’s and ate pizza and breadsticks..and had a fun talk. Last night, me and Jeff didn’t get off the phone until like 11:30 because we were having this convo about this one person who has been driving me crazy lately. It seems that EVERYONE just thinks that since I’ve changed friends..that I’m going to hell. Seriously. There’s this one person imparticular…who everytime I talk…I get “youre going to hell” looks. And it makes me ANGRY! Because that person..knows NOTHING about me! Sure, I’ve done some things that I’m ashamed of! WHO HASN’T! OHHH…that’s right. YOU. Because you HAVE NO LIFE. Just because I have a life and have friends..doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. Sure I’m not as close to God as I was last year..but that’s nobody’s fault but MINE! And..I definitely think that God has a sense of humor! I mean..he MADE laughing..he made funny!! And I hate it when people think differently. God made happy..and GRR! Just because I don’t stay home all of the time and read my bible..doesn’t mean that I’m a bad Christian! So you should definitely stop with your condemning looks! HARRY POTTER ISN’T BAD! QUIT CARING WHAT I DO AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SINS! DANGIT!

*shrugs* Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis! I miss the 90’s so much every day. I miss Matchbox and Green Day and Blink when they were cool…I miss grunge being alive. I miss Nirvana…..a lot. But I’m out. Gotta go read…I have a lot of that ahead of me to do. And i’m not doing my homework on Single Awareness Day. WOO! OUTTA HERE. XOXO, HIL*

 

Well….today…eh. I think I was pretty depressed but I don’t remember much of it. It felt like 10th grade all over again this morning..and I liked it. I miss sophomore ignorance. I started reading the first Sisterhood book over because I get the 4th one tomorrow!! I’m SO excited! ❤ Hrm..love day = tomorrow. I’m ready for Anti-love day. aha. Actually, I think tomorrow might be alright. I’m going to celebrate what I love..even if there is no boy. I will celebrate..my family and my friends..and my music. And tomorrow night, I’ll be sappy.

Me ‘n the J-kids went to Winnsboro today and hung out at Walmart for a long time. I got some candy for my sister and my parents and them a card. And I bought some glue so I can make my cute lil V-day projects for mi amigos. Jeff bought a pretty lil AC/DC shirt and I love it.. Jeska bought her mommy a CD and it was so sweet. I wanted to hug her. And we jammed all the way home..but I was..bluh..and tried not to cry and be sappy..but I got super happy when Jeff started singing his song about drivin on the road and the toad..and smokin’ and all that stuff. My friends make life better.

I’m so not going to AWANA tomorrow. I will shoot myself if I have to spend Valentine’s Day with the fakemo kids. Oh yeah, if you read this, don’t forget to pray for my New Orleans friends. They need it!! Hmph! I’m freezing and need to finish my V-day stuff. I loveeeee you. Maybe.

True friends are the people
who are there for you unconditionally.
They’re the people who never question
you and support you no matter
what the circumstances are. They
are the people worth living for.

Love- a four letter word,
that makes people go crazy.