Out on the road today, I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice Inside my head said, “Don’t look back. You can never look back.”
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go

Saturday was complete hell for me. I babysat all day and the kids went completely insane. Or maybe my toleration level was super low, but they were crazy. They fought, they screamed, they cried, they yelled, they wouldn’t listen, it was insane. But I got 40 dollars..so it was worth it. When I finally left their house about 9:30, I ran over to Jeska’s for a bit and it was so wonderful to see the J-kids. Seriously amazing to see someone with the same IQ level as me (close enough, anyway.) I got home about 5-10 minutes after curfew but I guess my mom thought I’d been babysitting, so I was safe. I was so depressed that day. I read Harry Potter and it depressed me…I wanted to cry.

Lovin’ you has got to be (take me to the other side)
like the devil and the deep blue sea (take me to the other side)
My conscience got to be my guide (take me to the other side)
Oh honey take me to the other side

Sunday was alright. I woke up late, jumped in the shower and power-drove (I’m talking 80 in a 40) to Jeska’s and got her up at 10:30 and we left by 10:45. Church was nice..it was a good sermon. Sam didn’t really talk to me, so I thought/think she might be mad at meeeee..but I don’t get it. I celebrated my mom’s birthday after church. (It’s tomorrow!) We had gumbo and cheesychickenspaghetti and some awesome cake. Goooood food. Every love letter written is another one burned. Anyway. Thennn, I watched The Naked Mile….American Pie movie. It was completely JUVENILE! I was SO disappointed! Like a bunch of perverted 15 year old boys wrote it. *vomit* Choir practice was GREAT. I love our new songs and Mrs. Mary is a wonderful singing teacher. I really enjoy working with her and my voice and everything. It’s super fun..plus, it’s going to be amazing when we start getting everybody ready for worship. I’m excited!

At a moment like this
I can’t help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffet do?

Toooooday was sleepy. I completely failed (honestly, this time, i’m serious.) an Advanced Math  test. But I can make it up..hopefully. If my mom goes to that meeting tonight, I’ll have 10 extra points in there! YAY! We went to The Spotted Dog today and I think I saw something I want to buy, so I’m gonna run up there sometime this week. Next time I go to Monroe though, I’m buying a present for my mom and Jeska! lol.

Stop tell me where you going
Maybe the one you love isn’t there
You’re going under
But you’re over it all so you don’t care about all that I had to see
I’d watch you wait until you come around
Around

Everything is going alright right now in my life. I mean, nothing is perfect, but in the middle of all the bluh and boring, there’s a bit where everything ties in with a pretty little bow! 🙂 Timeee don’t let it slip away, raise yo drinkin glass, here’s to yesterday. Anyway, I was really tired and just bluh today so I left Jeska’s cuz I was scared I’d be rude or something without thinking about it. Hrmm, I’ve really been thinking about college a lot lately. This time next year, my applications will all be in and I’ll be working on my senior project and stressing and having senioritis! lol. My mom has mentioned me living in Quitman during my college…and renting a trailer from my uncle, but I don’t wanna drive 30 minutes to class every day. I’d SHOOOOT myself. So, i’m just gonna…keep thinking and stuff. Well, I’m gonna go now..I need to finish Harry Potter tonight. (I’M GETTING THE FOURTH SISTERHOOD BOOK FROM MY SISTER FOR VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!! WOOO-HOOO!) So yeah, i’m OUTTTT.

 

Yeah

If I could change the world
Like a fairy tale
I would drink the love
From your holy grail

I would start with love
Tell ol’ Beelzebub
To get outta town
‘Cause you just lost your job

How did we get so affected
‘Cause I think
Love is love reflected

Time
Don’t let it slip away
Raise yo’ drinkin’ glass
Here’s to yesterday
In Time
We’re all gonna trip away
Don’t piss Heaven off
We got Hell to pay
Come Full Circle

And if
There’s a spell on you that
I could take away
I would do the deed
Yeah, and by the way
Here’s to Heaven knows
As the circle goes
It ain’t right
I’m uptight
Yeah, get off my toes!

I used to think that every little thing I did was crazy
But now I think the Karma cops are comin’ after you

Every time you get yourself caught up
Inside of someone else’s crazy dream
Own it, yeah, that’s a mistake
Everybody’s gotta lot o’ nada killing
Them instead of killing me

Today was basically BS. I mean, there were lots of fun parts, but reality pretty much hit me in the face tonight..and it’s not doing so well in my small mind. Let’s see, the posse went hill slidin at the graveyard and that was a whole bunch of fun. I spent the rest of the night with Penguin, Justin Carr, Jeska, Jeff, Catfish and other random kids at Sonic and Johnnys. I enjoyed myself enough. I forget how much I enjoy their company, but tonight wasn’t a night for all that. I couldn’t make myself have fun. I was just so hurt and upset.. eh. I have an ulcer on my lip..or maybe it’s two. But it’s painful and rather annoying. My facebook is being homo. I’m pretty much addicted to it, too. Well anyway, pray for me..because life is BS and I can’t handle it on my own anymore. xoxo, hil*

troublemakers. the round pegs in the square holes. the ones who see things differently. they aren’t fond of rules. you can quote them, disagree with them, the only thing you can’t do is ignore them; because they change things. while some see them as the crazy ones, i see genious. because the people who think they’re crazy enough to change the world, are the ones that do.

so.. you want a heart? you don’t know how
[ lucky ] you are not to have one. hearts will
never be practical until the day they can be
made –» U N B R E A K A B L E
`+ thewizard_ofoz<3

Ooooooh, it’s been a day. I stayed home from school again today ‘cuz my medicine made me sick. I didn’t do much all day..but be lazy and such. I watched Prisoner of Azkaban and that made me super happy. I looooooved it! ;] It’s GREAT. And I love Sirius!!! And HERMIONE! They rock my socks. Now I’m messaging Aaron back and forth..trying to think of something to say. I have two Chemistry sheets to do and I have to write a folktale in a few minutes while mi padres are at church. I’m SO cold in this house! It’s PATHETIC. I need a new Myspace layout. Or I’ll shoot myself. I’m SO bored with  that no top friends business. And I need a new song. Christmas is way over with! But OH BUDDY, I get MONEY this weekend. I’m ready to go SHOPPING or to the MOVIES or ANYTHING! The thing that was changing..was a figment of my imagination, so I heard..so it’s fine and dandy. I came to the realization today..that my scar on my knee will never fade. Anddddd it’s kinda ugly. Anyway…I’m out. I miss my friends.

I’m sick today. Earache, headache, the whole mess. And right now I feel like I’m gonna throw up cuz I ate this chicken wrap with pepperjack cheese on it. Who knew pepperjack cheese tasted like crap? bluh. Anyway, last night, I came home and went to bed at 7. I woke up long enough to talk to Jeff for awhile, but then crashed again. I did finish my article at school yesterday and I plan on finishing all my homework when I get home today. I have to write a story for Bordelon. *dies* I’m so not creative anymore. And i’m writing an essay for McIlwain on DRUGS. And who I am hates who I’ve been. I need water. AHH. I have a Doctor’s appointment in like 30 minutes with Dr. Connel ( who I don’t know! ) SO depressing. He’s so gonna give me a shot. I HATE shots. How am I ever going to get a tattoo? I told the J’s that I’m gonna have to be intoxicated. lol AND I DON’T DRINK! Major pain killers or something! I’m SO ready for summertime. But I’m not rushing the school year or anything, but i’m ready to be carefree and crazy. Things are changing in my world right now..and it’s making me sad. But, I don’t wanna talk to anybody about it. And I don’t know the solution. But I’m going to pray about it..and it’s gonna work. Always. Anywho…tomorrow is Wednesday! YAY! I love church! Somebody remind me that I have to be at school at 730 tomorrow! Today is Mrs Vickie’s birthday and she’s in DA! Oh speaking of DA, Mardi Gras is approaching…and Mom isn’t gonna let me go. BUT I REALLY WANNA! Weird, I know. Anyway, I feel bad. I’m gonna go, k? Love you!

this has been the best years of our
lives. let’s pray that we can say these
words forever. the days are running
shorter by the hour. we’ll look back
and realize this was all we had.

–EDIT–

I want a tatoo and my lip pierced. So..i’m gonna get ’em. And i’m not waiting for your approval. kthnxbye!

–EDIT AGAIN–
I loved Dr. Connel! Definitely my new best friend! aha He’s so freakin funny! But anyway, i’m out!

It’s been a good weekend! ;]

Yesterday, I spent most of the day relaxing around the house and then I spent most of the night riding around and then spending time at Jeska’s. We went and tannnnnned and then when we got home, we watched Titanic! And I super cried, i’m not gonna lie. When Jeff left, me and Jeska watched Material Girls and it was quite possibly one of the dumbest movies…EVER. All I remember about it was heels breaking, leaning over to get some pizza, crazy cats, Good Charlotte stealing a car, something about makeup…yeah, it was silly. We didn’t get to bed until like threeee. But church today was GREAT. Me, Sam and Jeska spent the whole day together being crazy girls. We went to San Miguels and got fried ice cream and then slid down the big hill at the graveyard on cardboard that we found in a dumpster!!! Me and Jeska almost DIIIIIIED! lol. But I got to spend much needed time with my girls! ❤

I’m about to go finish my article though. Last week was so miserable and long even though it was short, so I have to finish it up tonight! I love you guys!

FUN TIMES! lol. Thank God it’s Friday! I just drifted through school today..it’s pointless these days. It was such a weird vibe hitting me during school. Mr. Foy wasn’t there first hour. Second hour, I took a superhard Advanced Math test. Third hour consisted of discussing piercings, tatoos, the Nazi and things we’ve done that we wouldn’t want anybody to know. (I couldn’t think of -many-, but I had a few to hide from the parentals and other random adults…and other people who would shun me.) Fourth hour, Senora wasn’t there..sadness. I love Senora! I sat around n talked to Jeska, Nikki ‘n Brittney in 5th hour, 6th hour was pointless, 7th hour was pointless, then we had a pep rally and it made me pretty sad. Oh, the pregnancy rumors (or truths).

I went and tanned tonight and it felt realllll good to do that. Then, I spent a few hours at Sonic. (I know, I know, who -am- I?) But I was hanging out with Penguin, Jeska ‘n Jeff! Did you KNOW that they have hot chocolate -and- coffee at Sonic? My gosh, it’s amazing. My tounge is burnt though! Boo! But you’ll be jealous when we get rich off of burnt tounge cream! aha. I so love those kids. And, it made me feel really good tonight because people talked to me..and it just feels really good to run into people in Caldwell at Sonic of all places..that I actually like. Nick came over and hugged us and that made me smile..let’s see, who else made me happy…Tiffany & Krystal, Alteshia, Kristin, Ashley, Megan & Adam and other random people whom I love.. oh yeah, Rachel & Dock! lol. -Silly kids.- But Dock gave me $5! ‘Cuz he loves me. So yeah, good night. But, I’m out. *smooch*

xoxo, hil*

It seems only the old are able to sit next to each other & not say anything & still feel content. The young, brash, & impatient must always break the silence. It’s a waste, for silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together cause only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking.

This is a great paradox.
++The Notebook++

 

 

Gooooood day. I’m sitting here watching American Idol with Austin. It’s super scary, too! lol. So, today= amazinnng! We got out of school at 12! It was SOOO exciting! Me and Jeska went over to Jeffro’s and watched tv, got online, chilled on the carpet, so on and so forth. I got this thing in the mail from Jeff today and it made me laugh. And this show makes me want to say….U-G-L-Y YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI, YOU UGLY, YEAH YEAH, YOU UGLY. But Austin is singing WHAT YOU WANT? BABY I GOT IT…wOop! pretty cute.

 

Simon is being rude again…and I super love it! I think they’re in what, Seattle tonight? It’s funnnny. I so wish we didn’t have school tomorrow, but we do. It’s not cold enough for the weather to get bad. So yeah, spent a lot of time with the Js today. =] Super fun day. I love hershey’s kisses and Mad TV. And my sister. Anysuperwho, I got so much to do. I have to: read Harry Potter, read SOTTP, read Kurt, write in my journal, do my devotion ‘n such. Big stuff. Anyway, I got to run, but I love you! OH YEAH, I got my report card today and I’m reppin’ the All A’s and one B. It’s a 94 and in Mrs. Bordelon’s class, so I was really upset. But it’s gonna be fine. I might even talk her into changing it..cuz it went from a 102 to a 94. And I had extra AR points!!! BOO! Well k bye!

 

“I think teenage life is filled with narcissism and giant mood swings that are unnecessary and constantly inflating problems to phenomenally unrealistic proportions.” – Leonardo DiCaprio

I got these icons from checkitout123!

 

            

Oh yeah, I’m watching American Idol! It’s cute, yet super annoying. Today has been like a big change for me. I came home, straight home not to Jeska’s and I cleaned…I straightened up every room and I did my homework, every part. (Except for writing an article but i’m workin’ on it.) Mi madre is making me some cocoa and I’m about to get off here, write in my journal and watch When Harry Met Sally because it’s the best movie ever. I need to warm my hands. I did NOT want to get up this morning, but I’m dealin’. Ittttttts a killer, but i’m dealin’, yo. Today was kinda crappy until I got home. I wanted to throw down with a couple people. I think I miss Kaylin, Melissa and Paul a whole lots. And check it, three more days until the weekend. I CAN SO DEAL WITH THAT. Life is freaking good. Jeska started her Driver’s Ed class with x-convicts. She’ll be home in an hour, so I’m going to bombard her with questions..hope it was good. Simon is being nice….what the crap? I’m going to call a BS on that one. Hrmm, guess I’m done rambling about my cold yet niiiice life. PEACE. xoxo, hil*

randomly talk to people. eat candy until you wanna puke. throw things at the screen at movie theaters. make a new friend. freak people out. trip over nothing. do the “mary poppin” foot thingy. fall in mid air. push your friends into random people. pass notes in class. leave notes in random people’s lockers proclaiming your love for them. fall in love with someone all over again. hug your friends. give “special” hugs to your “special” friends. defend yourself. tell your parents you’re glad to have them. be crazy. jump high over little rocks screaming, “i can conquer anything.” just live it up

WOOO!

Happy MLK day!!! Heck yessss! Hope you celebrated wildly! I…definitely just slept in, cleaned and went to the grocery store today. It’s been a super fun weekend!! ❤ Yesterday, Jeff drove to Monroe for the first time, so me and Jeska went with him! It was SO much fun being all independant and everything!! Huge milestoneeee in our lives! :] Goood day.

I’ve just been SO happy this weekend, so sure of myself and confident, happy, high self esteem…just a good weekend for me. So anyway………done with that. I wish I woulda gotten to go to church last night cuz the kids sang a Fuge song, but I was making blue goo and parking at Sonic-lol. Well, I’m out..mucho love to ya. xoxo, hil*

Today was the besttttttttt. The posse took a trip to the ZOO! It was GREAT! lol. My favorites were the tigers, the lions, the hippo and the TALKING BIRDS! Heck yes. When I get my “own place”, I’m so buying those talking birds. After the zoo, we went to Hooters and it was an experience! Well, I gotta run..it’s BEDTIME. Church in the morning!! ❤ xoxo, hil*

Life would be so much more interesting if people randomly starting singing on a crowded street like they do on broadway ❤

its just too little too late
cuz im bringing sexy back
and as a matter of fact, my chain does hang low
so smack that ;]

Worrying is like a rocking chair.
It gives you something to do,
but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Happy Birthday to the best guy in the entire world!