Pretending this isn’t my second entry of the day.

I wish somebody would actually hit me up with some good news.

I’m tired of this bad news crap. Why am I always right? And why can’t I clean my mouth out with soap? And Caldwell is winning at the moment. I’m keeping faith up.

I need Sam. Please dont’ be mad at me. Just have good news before I slit my throat. (Where did that emo statement just come from?) I don’t know. Jesus loves me…and thats the only thing worth it. Things are going downhill.

Who wants some ice cream? Not me..I’m on a DIET.

Shoot me.

Sometimes when I run off
it`s because I want you to follow me.

 

Oohh life.

Ordered my class ring today.

Growing up so fast..Graduating in less than 2 years.

But I better quit or i’ll start crying again like I have been for 24 hours now off and on.

i’m waiting for a boy. no, i don’t have experience.
no, i’m not outgoing. no, i can’t tell you how i feel.
no, i’m not pretty, but i’m waiting for a boy.
a boy who will accept me. a boy who will love me.
a boy who will be there. a boy who means the world.

You say that we’ve got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart
You’ll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don’t care

And I said what about “Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
She said, “I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.”
And I said, “Well, that’s the one thing we’ve got.”

–I actually got a comment this time. Pretty exciting. I was sitting here trying to think of something to write about. Jessica has an unhealthy addiction to reading books and eating cereal. As a matter of fact, I read a book today. It was short, but it was a whole book. It was pretty good, actually. I didn’t even cry! lol That’s a shocker. You know..with me and my emotional self. I actually haven’t cried in awhile. Anyway…stop rambling.

I went to ULM today and got free pens and college info. I’m really leaning towards Tech…I have been since about 7th grade, so I might just go there. It’s always been between ULM, Tech, NSU and LC. I’m not sure I could -handle- LC….I really just want to go to Tech….or Northwestern. Northwestern always looks so happy..hey, whatever happens happens, right? RIGHT. It’s too far away anyway.

I’m listening to Stairway to Heaven. I don’t do that much…only when I’m in the car or laying on my bed in the dark while it’s raining. I need a trip to Monroe. Or a trip anywhere. I’m ready for summer vacation. Or Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to go to Monte and Marie’s wedding. Hours and hours of riding…best thing ever. I really hope Jeska ends up coming along. Well…..I’m out.

Bluerainbliss1 [7:35 PM]:  So i know this is complaining, but i just want to leave. Go to the happy place. The place where papers didn’t exist, and you can eat all the sugar you want without getting sick.
Bluerainbliss1 [7:35 PM]:  And a place where you wouldn’t have to worry where you and your friends were going to end up in college, you always believed you would stick together.
NoShoesGirl08 [7:35 PM]:  ….I still believe that.

The Future Freaks Me Out

Ooy.

So much has been going on lately, it’s not even funny.

I’m very sad at the moment. Something has been troubling me. But I’ll be fine. I just need somebody…..somebody strong and wonderful and comforting.. lol Sounds like I need Jesus, huh? Hellllp me.

I took the ACT Saturday and I promise you I made like a 14. It was so bad…we all kinda..flipped out.

The Scavenger Hunt was a success. Me & Jeff were a hit. The Keg…was the best part. lol I love that guy. Ran into him TWICE! haha..

Today was fun. Narrow Road did really good at the service and Joseph did great. Then, I hung out at Dock & Rachel’s with the kids for awhile and came back here..

We watched Criss Angel…or whatever its called. It was GREAT! YAY for fun card tricks!

 

the sun is going to shine, and the rain is going to fall.
in the end you might get burnt or wet, but that’s life.
so dance in the puddles, and bathe in the sun.
at the end of day, smile.

everything is going to be alright.

I’ve had a wonderful week. This no school thing definitely works for me. It makes me really hate school, but I know high school is the best time of your life. So, I love it…believe me now. The flood was completely awesome. It made me smile so much, but that’s only because it didn’t really affect me badly. I feel for the ones it did affect because I had so much fun with it. Today, I went to school for three hours and my Aunt Dana checked me out and took me to see Jorie. I was soo mad ’cause we sat in the doctor’s office for like an hour and a half or something. It was so miserable. But I have an ear infection and it is SO unfortunate and uncomfortable. My ear is all stopped up and I can’t hear and it’s so gay. Then, we went to McDonalds, dropped off my prescription and she brought me home. We talked about how everybody is growing up so fast. Y’know, I’m 16! Maurly’s already 8 years old!! *sigh* Liiiife is crazy fast.

There’s been some things bothering me lately, but not really bad things..just like little things. And Jeff always tells me that when it all comes down to it, all you’ve got is yourself and God..and you have to learn to love yourself and everything. Well, I do love myself, ya know? Because I mean, sometimes you have to love yourself ‘cuz you get thrown a lot of false mess from the world saying you’re not good enough and you’re not pretty enough and whatever. Well, I know I’m not the movie type girl. I’m not pretty. I’m not skinny. I’m not funny. I’m not even that smart. But I’m me. And I know that this world may never notice the my good qualities and features, so I’m going to have to. I might just be an ordinary girl to the world or to my school or even to my friends and family. But, i’m no ordinary girl to God. He made me especially and he created every part of me special. He knew when I was born that I wouldn’t be all that attractive and I’d have low self-esteem and I wouldn’t be popular and whatever..but you know what? God don’t make no junk! God LOVES me. He has allowed me to live on this world for 16 years and has continued to love me through all of the years that I’ve been immature and tried to break all of his rules. So, when the rain pours, God is always standing there with an umbrella..and even if you don’t look to him until you’re soaked, he’s still waiting with a towell.

Always remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made. And another thing I struggle with is being 16 and never having my first kiss or my first boyfriend. That doesn’t mean that you’re not pretty. It doesn’t mean anything negative. It means you aren’t ready yet for the man you’re intended to spend the rest of your life with. God has a plan for you and He will -always- go through with his plans. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Always have faith that God can do mighty things. In FCA this morning, we talked about God doing amazing things. The question was “What would make you more in awe of God?” And I don’t know what else God would have to do…because he has done so much for us. He created us and this amazing, beautiful world…and keeps us alive and breathing every day. He gives us food, clothes, shelter..and sometimes, we just reject him. We just have to come to a point to realize how much He actually does for us..and then..we will be in awe of God.

dear God,
i know he’s out there, the one i’m supposed to share my whole life with. and in time, you’ll show him to me. until then, will you take care of him, comfort him, and protect him until that special day we meet?

and let him know to be patient.

let him know i’m somewhere out there.

<33 Hilary

..that’s exactly where I lost it..

I had a pretty fun-filled day. Jeff, Jeska, Roy & Sarah came over today and we all played in the mud for an hour or two and hung out the rest of the day…playing SIMS, watching TV and such. When Roy left for work, we went to the coffee shop and it was funnn stuff. Well, me and Jeff went to his house for a little bit so he could change and I could eat mints and get my incense his mommy bought me. Joe is still a-livin’!!! YAY!

Now I’m just sitting here talking to Jeff on the el telephono and Sam on AIM. Man..I have nothing to say. I’m bored. I’m gettting offa here.

*BAM*

 

 

…and New York’s getting kind of cold…

maybe i can`t stop the downpour..
but i will always, always join you
for a walk in the rain ❤

Yesterday was lots of fun.

condoms + water + walking down the road = fun times.

Except for when one busted on my back and my whole shirt was soaked…but it all worked out as always. And then we danced on the road. All 4 of us. 🙂 We’re such cool kids. Even in our soap opera moments<3

Jeff had an amazing time at the concert. I wish I could’ve been there.

Gosh..my stomach hurts. I feel really bad..Think im gonna go throw up.

American Pie : Band Camp…is a freaking great movie. Even though some parts are dirty, it’s SO sweet at the end. Just like American Wedding!! AWW!

<33333333333333 HIL

cause i’m a little screwed up,
and you seem like you have
a good head on your shoulders.

tonight we’ll watch the stars
from your soft backyard.
i swear this is where i belong.

“If we find in ourselves a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, then perhaps the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” -C.S. Lewis

Jesus loves me and I know that. =]

Mah Jefffro is seeing Aerosmith tonight. Gawsh, thats the most exciting thing EVER!

Saints won. 27-23 or something such.

I was so sick and tired of livin a lie..I was wishin that I would die..and its amazing..how in the blink of an eye, you finally see the light. Yeah, its amazing….<3

So, I’m sayin’ a prayer for the desperate hearts…and i’m going to take a nap.

How can you fly with broken wings? Life’s a journey, not a destination and I just cant tell just what tomorrow brings.<33