What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful

I had the most amazing day ever.


Well, it all started with last night. I stayed up until 5 this morning reading “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky. I swear, it was so full of emotion..and I loved every word of it. Then, in my emotion filled state, I wrote a letter to Dawn about..life. I’m still not sure if I’m going to send it. It’s just a big ramble, really.


I woke up today about noon and I was, as always, home alone. I took a shower and did my chores like the good little girl I am. While I was cleaning up, Kylie showed up and we hung out a little bit. We ended up going fourwheeler riding and it was fun just being fun together. She’s a cool kid, you know it.


At like 2:40 something, Paul came and got me & we picked up the kids and went out to Sarah’s to get her and ended up talking to her Mom & co. for like EVER. We didn’t leave ’til about 4ish. We jammed all the way up there to the greatest music b/c Sarah makes AWESOME mix cds! YAAAY! Off to the mall….which was SO much fun! We stayed in there for like..3 hours. Romancing the Stone, Hot Topic, Spencers, Underground, FYE and the best…LIBBY LUS!! Omigosh, made me some lipgloss!! It’s SOOO yummy, too! And we got SOOO glittery! She sprayed glitter in our hair and we used pixie dust!! Ooh funness. =) And I bought a Dickies purse to match my Vans, so i’m pimpin’ cool, oh yeah.


I had SOOO much fun singing at the top of my lungs & listening to Sarah ‘n Paul argue about his driving. WoOoOoOo-HoOoOoOo! We went to TOYSRUS and played on the bikes & scooters and with bouncy balls and horsies and magic 8 balls and Jeff broke a pogo stick and they had a lightsaber fight!! But the best part…was finding…FREE GUM! SOOO wonderful! I’m actually chewing a piece right now and it’s halfway decent. Really.


We went to Waffle House, too!!! TO SEE BILLYRAY! And it was GRRREAT! Oh yeah..and we called Nikki and she so loves us!  BillyRay loves us, too. There’s really no way to explain Waffle House fun..it’s just so..had-to-be-there-ness. And I love it!


The ride home was tunzo funzo w/ GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN & MAMBO # 5…but the most fun was Cha Cha Slide, I think. ❤ lol I love my hoebags. “GET IN THE BAG!” At Citgo…the lady said to me (after asking if the lil hawaiian punch thing was being a pain) “Did all of you actually fit in the bathroom?” And I was like “welll…yep.” LOL! She thought we were..as billyray put it..a little tipsy! 🙂


So, we went to the boatdocks & Sarah, Jeff n Jeska swam in the river… I didn’t wanna get in trouble by my Mom so I just watched..and laughed alot. I sat on the edge of the water for a while and put my feet in..I actually still have mud under my fingernails and in between my toes. Oh, buddy, yeah.


Riding home was so much fun…I mean, S, J & J were in the back b/c they were wet and Paul was driving and I was just sitting there in the front seat…with Freebird playing as loud as it would go…and I just started…thinking…and I was just realizing how amazing my life is…how much I love my friends…and how much I do love..my whole life.


“.. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”


Have a good night, kids. And always remember how great life is..even when it isn’t.


*******************************************************************


If you can make a girl laugh


You can make her do anything.


-Marilyn Monroe


“What do you do? You laugh. I’m not saying I don’t cry, but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously.” -garden state


In life we do things. some we wish we had never done, some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads, but they all make us who we are. And in the end, those experiences shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them, we wouldn’t be at the exact place that we are today. So just live. Make mistakes, and have wonderful times but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly, where it is that you are going…
-Sex and the City


Summer is filled with breaking the rules and standing apart, ignoring your head..


and following your heart


I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautful life


– Darryl Worley


I say, if youre going to get in..you should just dive in head first.


Don’t think about anything..just jump right in & have fun.


And when it’s time for you to get out.. just remember how much fun you had & how great you felt


It’s not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It’s about the ride. There is no point in going through all this crap, if you’re not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what… when you least expect it something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for…


I don’t have a lot of friends. They are acquaintances mostly. People that pass through my life, making a minimum of difference to me. But, I’m lucky. Luckier then most really. You see I have a few people in my life who mean the world to me. People who make everything seem so much better. A few people who I wouldn’t be who I am today without. These people have changed me and for the better. I’d die for them in an instant, but more importantly, I’d live for them. ~~Jacqueline Kelly McBride


“Everything, I mean love, romance, relationships … it all falls together perfectly, and its incredible … it’s those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between, that make growing up worth it.”- Dawson’s Creek


“The years go by. The time, it does fly. Every single second is a moment in time that passes oh so quick and it seems like nothing. But when you’re looking back well, it amounts to everything.”- Catch 22


Friendship is a strange thing…we find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives, things we don’t even share with our families who raised us, But what is a friend? A confidant? A lover? A fellow E-Mail junkie? A shoulder to cry on? An ear to listen? A heart to feel? A friend is all these things, and more. no matter where we met, I call you friend. A word so small, yet so large in feeling, a word filled with emotion. It is true great things come in small packages. Once the package of friendship has been opened, it can never be closed, it is a constant book always written, waiting to be read, and enjoyed. We may have our disagreements. We may argue. We may concern one another. Friendship is a unique bond that lasts through it all. A part of me is put into my friends, some of my humor, some of it my listening ear, some of it is real life experiences, some of it is my romanticism, but with all, it is friendship. Friendships forged are a construct stronger than steel built as a foundation, necessary for life, and necessary for love.


“After the song finished, I said something. ‘I feel infinite.’ And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent and we felt young in a good way.”- The Perks of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky


“Some memories are realities and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.”- My Antonia by Willa Cather


“I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.” –Almost Famous (Penny Lane)


 “They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.” –Almost Famous (Sapphire)


“Maybe life’s not suppose to make sense.” — Man in the Moon


Jack: “This is crazy.”
Rose: “I know, it doesn’t make any sense….that’s why I trust it.” –Titanic


“What are you doing here, kid? You don’t even know how hard life is yet!”
“It’s obvious doctor, that you’ve never been a thirteen year old girl.” – The Virgin Suicides


…….Lord I feel so small some times in this big ol’ place….

“…I know there are more important things, but
Don’t forget to remember me….”


Hi guys. It’s been a pretty fun day. It’s like..what..2:30 in the morning and I’m just sitting here at Jeska’s. She’s off cleaning her Mom’s room and I’m listening to Mad World all by my lonesome..and it’s very relaxing, so I thought I’d write a lil bit in this thing.


I got to spend some quality time with my Sarah tonight. We all went up to Columbia Heights and it was a whole lot of fun. I really enjoyed it. Sam didn’t really enjoy herself, so she went home, but I had blast. The band, “One Way” was amazing! I loved them! I bought a CD! You guys should add them on Myspace! They are the cool and I mean it.


So, me, Sarah ‘n Jeska picked up Jeff and headed to the house and I packed some clothes to come over here. Then, we went to McDonalds to the ATM (for the second time that night) and then chillaxed over at Johnny’s for like an hour. Brian sat with us and I just had tons of fun. Those crazy kids eating some drugged out pizza & seeing purple smoke! I think you guys are CRAZY! But, of course, I didn’t have any pizza! 🙂 But, like..everybody was working –Rusty, Matt, Eric..all the cool kids. It was tunzo funzo. I almost got a CONCUSSION though. And Jeff hit me in the face with a piece of pizza! But all in all, amazing night. We also got to run around on the high way and lay in the middle of the road. “What happens if a car comes?” “We die.” “Okay, we can go now!”


I love my friends so much! I really wished Sam would’ve stayed up there with us! We had a freaking blast! And then, MONICA called me at Johnny’s! I wish I would’ve been at home so I couldve gotten to talk to her! It was so great talking to her for the few seconds I did! But, we were so crazy up there, I didn’t really get to much.


“LOL I just screamed JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL in her ear!” “At least she knew you were singing about Jesus!”


Sitting at Johnny’s about 930 or something. “So…we’re at church.”


I just realized how much I love Carrie Underwood. She’s GREAT!


Well, guys, it’s been real & it’s been fun…and it’s been real fun, so i’ll catch you guys on the flip side. God bless & if you ever need me..7581097


Psalm 55:22- “Cast thy burden on the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.”


Psalm 27: 14 – “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart; Wait, i say, on the Lord.”


“Happiness depends upon ourselves ~ Aristotle”


“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. -Edith Wharton”


fake faces everywhere i see, fake people looking back at me.



“life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who dont
&& believe everything happens for a reason.
if you get a chance, take it.
if it changes your life, then let it.
nobody said it’d be easy
they just promised that it’d be worth it”

Making memories of us

Like I said last time, life has been crazy amazing. For the first time in my life, I have so many friends..I just feel like they love me and I love them so much. I’ve been hanging out with all of ’em lately. I went to Daniela’s last night and had SOOO much fun! I was supposed to go to Sarah’s tonight, but my mom is crazy. So we might all go and do something on Friday. I need to do something with Sam tomorrow, maybe! Saturday is Rachel’s family party thing at Dara’s from 4-6..so that should be fun. I’m looking forward to it. Hmm, my neck hurts. Ouccch. Hmmph. Anyways. I needa do something with Jessica and Will! I really, really want to! Hmm, life is just fine right now. It’s mostly filled with my friends and wedding stuff though!


Today is my Grandmother’s 82nd bday. We went to San Miguels with a bunch of the family and it was very fun. I love my family so much. I’m so ready to go stay with Annese this summer!! YAY, i’m so glad it’s summer! I’m ready to Waffle House it up! Smooches to all, but i’m outta here.


<33

can you say..life is scary?

Life can be taken away from us so quickly, like sand leaks from your hand at the beach. It’s so odd…so interesting..so amazing. In everything you do, pray.


Bio & Alg II finals left. PRAY FOR MEE!


I watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days earlier! And I cried…oh yeah, i’m definitely way too in love with love!


I am SOOO burnt! Gawsh…help meeee!! GIMME THE ALOE VERA NOW!


One day of school left and i’m soooo sad! TTYLS!


 


 

here i am ;; as perfect as im gonna be<3


Well, lemme tell you how God has been arranging all those problems in my life.



Saturday, I got up and went shopping and bought 2 shirts and it wasn’t -as- stressful as it could’ve been. It still pissed me off that I can’t lose weight…but I took a diet pill and it made me so unhungry! It was GREAT.



We babysat Bubba & Shae that night and it was an experience! OMG! Shae threw up and I almost DIED! I am the most horrible babysitter ever b/c I went and got her Grandma!!!! LOL! And thenn…like…Jeska broke the knob off the bathtub! SO hilarious! But it was tunzo funzo and great! We stayed that night and went to bed about 1..I got to get up on Sunday and get the kids ready for church! It was amazing like I was a lil Mom or something! hehe. I haven’t got paid yet, but ima get the $$ soon!



Sunday, I didn’t feel good all day, so I pretty much slept the entire day. I skipped my recital and everything! But I feel so much better! Except my face is super red and it wont go away! It’s so ugly! <–ew!



Well I’m about to go b/c my cousin Elisa is in town! YAY! TTYL guys! And you should def. comment sometime! <33




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Graduation was tonight and it was pretty and really great. I sat with Will, Jeska, Kirsten, Jordan, Sarah ‘n Eddie. I cried!!!!! I’d already starting crying a little when Meaghan and Whitney were giving their speeches, but when Paul got up there, we were filming Kaylin and we zoomed in and she started crying and I couldn’t control the tears!! It was SO emotional! But I got to hug Kaylin, Justin, Paul, Katie, ‘n Melissa and tell ’em I love em and everything!


I don’t have a clue how I’m going to survive next year. No Kaylin. No Paul. No Melissa. No Ricky. No Stacey. No Michelle. No Phillip! Our school isn’t going to have any personality anymore! No krunk-ness especially! SOO sad! Also means we’re getting closer to graduating which scares me to death. O wells. I got a yummy lil milkshake today from the coffee shop and I think I passed my English test and I survived graduation. Plus, I’m thinking Ethan went home. God’s getting me through this. Thank you, God!  Well, see you kids later! *SMOOCHES*





Life is CRAZY!

<.<;;


I have SO much to do. Life is so crazy. Here’s my plans and rants.


I’m sick. I have fever. Plus, it’s that time of the month. Shoot me. PLEASE!


Tomorrow is CHS Class of 2006 Graduation at 7:00. I’m riding up there with Jeff n Jeska supposedly. I have 500 things to do at school tomorrow. I’ve got to pay my book fine someday. The paper was supposed to go out tomorrow, but now I’m unsure. I have to work on the newsletter, but I was a horrible part of the staff all year and I ain’t got a clue how! I think I have an English test. I’m supposed to study English vocab and some story before tomorrow. Did I mention I don’t have anything to wear to Graduation? Honestly, I have two dress shirts I wear over and over. I HAVE to go shopping.


Saturday, I HAVE to go shopping. But, it’s Riverboat festival and Daniela wanted me to go, so Ima try to RUN up there early Sat. morning and rush back to see Daniela here maybe. That night, Mark, Sabrina, Reed ‘n Sawyer are singing at church and I have to go. Oh gosh, Ms. Mable and Mr. Hilbilly’s 50th wedding anniversary thing is at the chruch from 10-12.


Sunday is my piano recital at 3:00. (Nothing to wear!)


Monday is giong to be my last sane day at CPHS.


Tuesday is the NHS program initiation thing and eating at Johnny’s. (Nothing to wear.)


Wednesday, we have World Geo, Spanish 100 word and English finals.


Thursday is my last day at CPHS as a Sophomore and i’m going to be sad all day. I have Alg II and Biology finals. Arlene’s surgery is that day and we’re still trying to make it up there. If we do, we won’t be back until sometime Friday.


Saturday is my sister’s wedding shower. The 30th is Grandmother’s birthday and I haven’t even thought about her present. PLUS THE GRADUATES PRESENTS. PLUS JORDAN, MELISSA AND SAM’S PRESENTS.


Rachel’s other party thing is June 3rd in Monroe. The wedding is June 17th. I still have to lose weight and lay in the tanning bed every day until then.


Oh-my-Lord. I’m about to die here. My mom has been griping all day.


ETHAN..AARON’S BROTHER is up the road. I dont fcking have time for this. I’m about to go bawl my face off.