Author: shoesluvsjesuschrist

i guess i don`t really know what i was thinking.
would have thought we would float.. but we
kept on sinking..
— bowling for soup

HEY EVERYBODY! hehe. Did I have a good day??? YEAH! I DID! I went to school and we took the PLAN test. Yeah, it was HORRIBLE but it meant we missed 1-4 hour! YAY! I missed 3rd hour though…it’s the best. I actually love 1-3 hour…I just liked missing 4th. I wish we coulda missed the last 2. I LOVE Spanish. ANYWAY..I hung out with Jessica at lunch and drank an AWESOME Strawberry n Cranberry juice thing. YUM! Spanish was so awesome. We watched a movie..and it was a really good one. I said “AWWWWWWWWW” like way too much for my own good. It was PRECIOUS though! They got to dance together in the end..and he wrote “thanks” on the chalkboard..AWWWWWWWWWW! haha it was so sweet! Coach PAtterson wasn’t there today!! —> AWESOME. I got to make up a C to like I think an A in English so that was THRILLING!

Me ‘n Megan went to the pumpkin patch at 4:30 and stayed ’til 5….Brian’s family people bought 15 dollars worth but nobody else bought anything. Boo. We bought ice cream at Fred’s and then went home. I emailed Sam..talked to Sam on AIM..then went to walk. I walked a mile and then got tired cuz i’m lame and havent walked in ages…It’s so pretty..they decorated all halloweenish!! YAYHOO! This October thing is making me smile. =)

I have piano tomorrow…that makes me happy for some reason. I gotta figure out what I’m doing for Halloween..hmm. I gotta do something this weekend! I gotta write Jen Jen back, too. Anything else? Oh yes, pastor appreciation Saturday!! BBQ! Im sooo excited. Hmm..my mom’s cookin red beans n rice and im sooo hungry! I haven’t seen Kaylin since Thursday. Is there ANYTHING to write about?

I’m getting the new Switchfoot and 3dd cd…soon. Plus, I gotta get FallOutBoy again.

“Wow…Ohio.” “I thought Ohio was for lovers…” “Gosh, me too!” LOL. I forgot what that was about but it was funny.

XxXJenJen311XxX: how is the whole aaron thing goin?
BlueRainBliss: lol i havent talked to him and i dont plan on it. i’m done with it all
XxXJenJen311XxX: awesome.. im glad u’ve gotten over it!

BlueRainBliss: say something interesting
Gnarly Radish: SOMETHING INTERESTING
Gnarly Radish: hahahahhaa

One glance, one smile, one love, xoxo, hil*

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY.

 

I smell like Reed. That’s so awkward. lol It’s really really funny cuz I have no idea why.. Standing next to people…and then I smell like them. It’s ALWAYS been that way lol

I didn’t get to bed until like 130 last night..because I was getting organized and in the shower and exercising, lol. I ate an apple last night. It was great. For real though. So ok, I woke up this morning…got ready for church..made me ‘n my mom some scrambled eggs and toast….then went to church.

Reed taught Sunday School this morning. I expected not to pay attention or learn anything and like talk the whole time because it was Reed…but that’s not at ALL what happened. It was an AWESOME lesson. We actually discussed stuff…like important stuff…like what times we’re worried about talking about Jesus and things we don’t think we could do if Jesus wasn’t helping us…it was awesome. It made me miss Oklahoma. I miss being on fire for Jesus with my youth group and us all talking about Jesus and the things he was doing in our lives. Anyway, this morning made me extremely happy.

Church was awesome. Mr. Keith’s sermon was amazing. It really showed me some stuff. The stuff i’ve been dealing with..it was just like confirming that what I was planning to do is exactly what I need to do. Gosh, my church is amazing. I love it. I love my Jesus soooo much. He’s so hardcore amazing. =) DO YOU KNOW JESUS? HE’S AMAZING! lol. So anyway, two lil boys got saved. Donna’s son joined the church. Lauren Brooks is gonna get baptized tonight =) It was so awesome..really. Mrs Mary told me that I looked beautiful and asked me how much weight I’d lost. I love her. =)

I got home and talked to….guess….who. MONICA!!! She’s at Kory’s right now and she’s as happy as I’ve ever heard! She got baptized this morning and she’s like so happy. It’s AMAZING. She said she’s starting over and everything is gonna be great! GOSH, it’s such a happy day!!!

Well i’m gonna go! KAYLIN, hope the icons made you smile! *hugs* Pray everything keeps going GREAT everybody! XOXO, HIL*

–edit– Choir practice ‘n church went good! Mrs. Mary sat by me and it was fun! I haven’t talked to Jessica today. . .she’s not home yet! *cries* Todd preached tonight ‘n it was cool, he talked about his dog Daisy the whole time. 4 kids were baptized!!!! Obviously AWANA does the trick. TTYL chickenz! *MUAH*

I slept all day yesterday. I’m talking slept all DAY. Until like 8:30 last night. Then I woke up and ate pizza..stayed up til probably 3:30..then slept til 1:30 today. It’s CRAZY. I’m sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. Then I got up and tried to make my old computer work and let me make some mp3s…and it was gay, so i’m just gonna burn it in the woods. ha. Anyway. then I looked at old pictures. Right now, i’m listening to awesome music. Well I was…now it’s Tim McGraw “Who Are They..” lol that’s an old Sam ‘n Hil jam from the days of going to Popeyes after Sunday night church. =) Ya gotta love the old days. Anyway. I wanna go fourwheeler ridin. Jessica called me earlier!! She was talking about Hilary Duff’s HIM jacket. I wanna burn Hilary Duff…lol here’s why. People from down south..think it’s funny to make Hilary Duff comments to me…like how I was named after her, i’m not as cool as her..or ya know..calling me hilary duff. It’s annoying. She needs to burn..especially if she has that pink HIM jacket.

I’ve been thinking….I gotta start caring again, so i’m going to be good at stuff again. I want my grades to be good, my festival piece to be FANTASTIC, i wanna go to AWANA and learn all my verses..I wanna help Aunt Dana with the kids and make them all love me. I wanna keep my room clean and keep the house clean for my mom. I wanna start being responsible. I really do. I wanna start my diet and exercising again. I wanna be consistant with my quiet times and be a good friend. I wanna be the friend that people run and talk to when they’re having tough times..I wanna start walking again at the park..learn the guitar, get my hair cut…face my fears…be NICE TO PEOPLE. I hate this barely getting by stuff and that’s what I’m doing with EVERYTHING. I haven’t been to church on Wednesday since summer. I haven’t practiced piano but once since like…last school year. I only clean my room so I can go places….I never do my homework. See. I’m SO starting up again. Right now. Make sure I do, mmk? You will, right? Hmm?

I’ve pretty much got out of going to the Edge of Madness next weekend. I’m supposed to be going to the lake with my church, but since me ‘n Sam aren’t….cheerful so to speak..she probably won’t go. Hey, I don’t like this. I think i’m gonna cry now. My mom just made me upset. She was like “blah blah and you and sam can do this and blah blah” and i was like..yeah we’re not..happy right now and she was like..well be happy. And i’m like yeah i’ll just do that. Sometimes it’s not me. REALLY. GOSH…

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you’ll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she’s in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand

I’ve been getting some great cds lately. Green Day, a mix cd, a cd from Hot Topic, HIM, The Used..yeah I think that’s it. I’m supposed to be getting that Fall Out Boy cd again since it brokededed. I got a bunch of old NOW cds..hehe and the old Eminem cd..a random country cd…Eric’s supposed to be making me a random cd. Im talking random. Hanson, Spice Girls, Janis Joplin, Papa Roach kinda random! lol i’m happy.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you’d ever say goodbye
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I the king
But if I’d only known how the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I’d of had to miss the dance

Well it’s pretty much time to quit talking. I love all the people that I’ve never met in person who comment me faithfully. You guys = the best. The only person I’ve met before who commented me last post..was Hooda! lol And she’s not from Caldwell either..lol But I love her!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL! SOOOO MUCH! You guys have a great night! Do something fun! Smile! Love the pants. Love your sisters. Love yourself. Ok, sorry..went sisterhood of the traveling pants on ya. ❤ *Comes out on DVD tuesday*

❤ Rain, Smurfs ‘n Fairytales, XOXO, HIL* ❤

Dancing in the moonlight
Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight

We like our fun and we never fight
You cant dance and stay uptight
Its a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight

 

You are the Breakfast at Tiffany’s kiss! <—awwwww.

I went to the fair last night…and it was SO awesome! I had the BEST time!!!! Me ‘n Jessica hung out with Seth ‘n Chris the whole time! It was mucho fun! Me ‘n Jessica rode the sizzler 3 times. Once by ourselves, once with Seth and once with Seth ‘n Chris in the cart beside us yelling at us the whole time, lol. I rode the high roller twice. Once with Seth ‘n Chris n once with Jessica’s aunt ‘n cousin. I rode the top kick with Seth and I’ve never felt like that in my WHOLE life..going upside down…was…FUN. lol I really had so much fun. We went in the house of mirrors..lol. It was like a movie..the whole night was really. Especially on the sizzler when we were screaming to Megan the whole time…I felt like somebody should be filming it! We rode the swings twice…the first time was SO fun! Kaylin and all her friends were on there and then us and IDK, it was just GREAT!!!! Seth won me and Jessica stuff! He won her a batmobile and I got a grape lollipop! Aww! Chris spent all his money on them stupid GAMES! lol It was so funny, he was like addicted to them…lol we were cracking up. I got to see my family, though! Well..Sam’s family..but -my- family. ANYWAY..I had fun! I bought Chris & Seth’s food and then they left-lol. Coach Davis was like..wow you buy ’em food and then they leave…how nice. But I HAD SOOOO MUCCCCHHHHH FUNNNNNN! I guess you just had to be there cuz everything always sounds like crap when you write it down on here…

I love you guys soooooo oh soooo much! I didn’t go to school today cuz I didnt get to bed until like 12 cuz I didnt get home til 11:30 and then I couldnt sleep cuz I felt sick all night and now I feel dizzy and like crap..*sigh* but i’ll be ok. Hopefully i’ll catch up on sleep ALL weekend. Jessica’s going to N.O. at 4 in the morning…..I’m sad. I wish I was going. Well…I guess imma go. I love my faithful commenters!!! hehe. XOXO, HIL*

and just because her eyes dont tear, doesnt mean her heart doesnt cry… and just because she comes off strong- definitely doesnt mean nothings wrong….

–edit–Remember that part of my heart that was so empty because the house was empty? Well, it’s not so empty anymore! THE GRANDPARENTS ARE BACK! *jumps for joy* I AM SOOOO HAPPY. haha you guys dont even have any idea how HAPPY that makes me..Aww..i think i’m gonna cry i’m so happy. –edit–

You know what they say about junk food when you’re sad…..

Chedder ‘n Sour cream Lays + Bottled water + music = happiness. I just need chocolate.

I have a hard biology test tomorrow and a World Geography test..an Alg II test Friday and that essay due Friday. I feel like quitting school sometimes. It’s so freakin’ stupid. But, that’s okay. I think today’s Aaron’s seventeenth birthday, but i’m not positive. Earlier… I listened to “Everything Changes” by Staind and called Jessica and we talked about it for a while..she was like ‘dont be sad..please don’t be sad, it’s not worth it.’ but we both feel bad for sending that letter. I don’t want him to know I cared alot..but I dont want him to think I never cared at all..because I did. So I wrote Sam a letter…and studied for World Geography. I’m now “taking a break” while my peoples are at church and i’m about to study for Bio, I think.

” Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman, maybe he won’t find out what I know. You were the last good thing about this part of town.” – Fall Out Boy ( Grand Theft Autumn)

I just miss…..that one day.  GOSH, I KNOW, SHUTTUP. It’s my journal…lol. if you don’t wanna hear my whining, don’t read it today. I’m just gonna post icons.  Rain, Smurfs ‘n Fairytales, xoxo, hil*

I found the cure to growing older
And you’re the only place that feels like home
Just so you know, you’ll never know
And some secrets weren’t meant to be told
I found the cure to growing older

I’m the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends
And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again
And I’ve got arrogance down to a science
Oh, and I’m the first kid to write of hearts, lies, and friends

[Chorus: x2]
Douse yourself in cheap perfume it’s
So fitting, so fitting of the way you are
You can’t cover it up
Can’t cover it up

Find a safe place, brace yourself, bite your lips
I’m sending your fingernails and empty bottles you’ve sipped
Back to your family cause I know you will be missed
So you can find a safe place, brace yourself

They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone
But for what we’ve become, we just feel more alone
Always weigh what I’ve got against what I left
So progress report: I am missing you to death

[Chorus: x2]
Douse yourself in cheap perfume it’s
So fitting, so fitting of the way you are
You can’t cover it up
Can’t cover it up

Someone old
No one new
Feeling borrowed
Always blue
Someone old
No one new
Feeling borrowed
Always blue
Someone old
No one new
Feeling borrowed
Always blue
Someone old
No one new
Always borrowed
Always you

I found a cure to growing older
I found a cure to growing older

[Chorus: x2]
Douse yourself in cheap perfume it’s
So fitting, so fitting of the way you are
You can’t cover it up
Can’t cover it up

The fair was tonsafun. Me ‘n Jessica had a blast..even tho there was like 3 rides. But we got our free ride of the night, so that was great. Haha..he was soo funny..”Whatever, it’s not like i’m goin anywhere.” lol I was like…why don’t they have hott fairworkers? lol This one guy was talking to us…he was like 70..HAHA..but he was funny..he was talkin bout the tigers..it was sweet. He lived in Wisconsin and really enjoyed working for the fair.

I rode the highroller and the top kick for the first time..ever. And the scrambler twice. I ate soooo much food! haha..I gotta not eat for years now. I love this cd i’m listening to. Well anyway i gotta go to school

I dont care if you don’t careeeee

I’m about to get ready and then go to piano, to jessicas and then go to the fair with Jessica and her family. Fun-o. I had an ok day at school today. Did I tell you my report card was good yesterday? Cuz it was. ANYWAY. I have a horrible headache and i can’t take my flexstra no mo…*cries* I’m sooooo ready for….FAIR FOOD. Not even the rides…who cares about the rides. I’m going for the……CARAMEL APPLES AND CIGAR SMOKE!!! haha…Omg, last year at the fair I got stalked by MEXICANS!!! *misses Sam*

I’m trying to go to New Orleans this weekend, it’s gonna be freakin’ awesome. New Orleans = Hott guys!!! hahaha I felt soo junior highish when I said that! Have fun kids…

Rain, Smurfs ‘n Fairytales, XOXO, HIL*

“…and the reason is you.”

“Take the clouds from your eyes and see me as I really am.”
 -Don Quixote

It’s a wonder how you can think SO highly about someone…and then something drastic happens….and they don’t care…and you realize how much of a LOSER they are….She was so right…the girl with the broken smile..she was so right.

Don’t worry your pretty little heads about it, it’s not a big deal…actually, it’s not a deal at all. It was just on my mind cuz I read something..but anyway yeah. I wrote a poem today! It’s ok. Jessica liked it lol YAY HOOOO! I finally got food…it’s waiting for me in the kitchen.

I died on SIMS…in a fire. Then, my husband and kids got an unknown illness. That game hates me and my families. Well, Im gonna go eat ‘n then write some letters. TTYL

RAIN, SMURFS ‘n FAIRYTALES, XOXO, HIL*

Thanks for the comments, girls! They made me happy just to know..people -do- care!

 

ME AND JESSICA WROTE A MEAN LETTER TO AARON! I CANT WAIT TO SEND IT—YAAAAAAAAY. I PRINTED OUT LYRICS FOR HIM, 2!! HEHE…THIS IS GONNA BE FUNNY…AS A LOTTA FUNNY STUFF. ANYWAYZ…IM GONE….<3 U ALL SOOOO MUCH!

*sigh* I’m still worried sick. I have to wait until 3 to get any kind of information. I hate being in this situation, i’m just CLUELESS. CLUELESS. It’s killing me…so much. I might try to play SIMS..to get my mind off this. I’m so hungry..this is gonna be a crappy day, I can tell. I’mma try to call Jessica in a few hours…but right now i’m just….blank, worried, scared…I have to go get some boxes…to send everybody’s “care packages”. Monica’s, Dawn’s, Aaron’s. Woop. 1. Get boxes. 2. Buy the stuff to send. 3. Go to the post office.. 4. Pay lots of money for postage….

I wanna be the girl who makes your bad days better and the one who makes you say my life has changed since I met her.

I’m about to work on my quote book, mmkay? That excites me. I haven’t done that in ages. That’ll keep my mind off it…maybe.

I’m afraid of not having enough time. Not enough time to understand people, how they really are, or to be understood myself. I’m afraid of quick judgements & mistakes that everybody makes. You can’t fix them without time. I’m afraid of seeing snapshots instead of movies. – (Bailey) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

See you cats later. Please pray for her, PLEASE.  Cinderella, Forever ‘n Comments, xoxo, hil*

Like on Almost Famous where the girl makes her family listen to music instead of giving an explanation.

It’s been a pretty awesome lazy day. Church this morning was hardcore amazing. Even SUNDAY SCHOOL is awesome now that Mrs Penny is teaching it. HAHA-next Sunday, Reed’s teaching…woo-hoo. It’s gonna be fun, lemme tell ya. Anyway..Old Bethel is freaking awesome. Todd is pretty cool, too. I love having him -and- Mr. Keith there all the time..it’s pretty dadgum comforting, if ya know what I mean. Like if I ever need anything, I have 2 preachers…not that I’d ever go to either of them anyway..I’d probably go to Mrs Mary…or Sawyer, lol. but thats beside the point. Oh well, whatever i’m saying. Tessa got saved at AWANA last Wednesday so she made it public this morning and -awwww-. I was like AWWWWWWW! I went outside ‘n got to talk to Saw ‘n Sam!! I love them 2 girls sooo much..like lots. Then I went to Grandmothers. Aunt Dwanna, Jennifer, Raegan ‘n Emily, Aunt Denise…and AUNT SHARON were there!!! Aww, I love them so much. Uncle Bobby had already left so I was upsetted.

We had lots of yummers food. I ate salad, a bbq sandwich..and..cake…oh wow thats alot. I’m sooo not eating for 2 weeks. I wish..gosh, i’ve gained alot of the weight I lost back. I’m so gonna start going to the track again. I’ve got to. Like right now. I called Jessica..and then I came home. I rated peoples on hotornot and then I wrote Aaron a mean letter…emailed Sam some quotes…then played SiMS. I called Jessica and we talked for a while…then I went to church and it was great again! Todd baptized Tessa! Mr. Keith preached a sermon on why you should be baptized ‘n all that good stuff. It was grood…good ‘n great. great ‘n good. LOL ❤ I need to be reading. Kirsten burnt me a “The Used” cd ‘n gave it to me on Friday….’n I havent even listened to it yet. Crazyness. I’m gonna watch A Lot Like Love later!!! I’ll watch The Virgin Suicides and Lords of Dogtown tomorrow!! YAAAAAAAAY. Well hookaz…I reckon i’ll catch you all lata! KEEP ROCKIN STAR STYLE!!

Rain, Smurfs ‘n Fairytales, xoxo, yo ma…ummm hil* Have fun with my TONS of icons!!

  <–Drama = Love LOL

get all of your drama out during the summer so that you won’t pick on your friends during the school year

keep your head up .. cause there are people who would kill to see you fall

here comes the rain [ again ]
falling from the stars *
drenched in my pain a g a i n
becoming who we . are  ❤

you know that place between sleep && awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? that’s where i’ll always love you. that’s where i’ll be waiting. ❤ — TiNKERBELL

^^^ thats the best quote since ever..

 

I’m crying hard…..i’m so scared……please dear God keep her alive….im shaking….i’ve never been in this situation before…there’s nothing i can do..im so scared. What do I do??? she needed me….why couldnt I be there with her? SHE NEEDS ME……*cries* I love her so much. I told her the other day..I wish I could just be there with her and hold her hand and just endure everythign with her…i’m so scared..i’m shaking…im trembling..im terrified. i’m SO SCARED…please pray..please pray PLEASE PRay