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It’s been a good day, I reckon. I didn’t go to school cuzza migraines. Went n got some Flextra…yay. I ❤ Jorie, she’s the bestest doctor evers!!! She don’t gimmie no shots YAY <3! AND I GOT 11 COMMENTS! hehe…I’m so special…I Love you Guys!

I’m not eating any more today, I so ate McDonalds for lunch…but I wasn’t as happy to get it as Aaron and his mom. Speaking of them, I think i’m gonna give them a call..I got some questions for ’em sooooo yep!

I got MSN messenger or something today. My sign in name is yourmamasaid@hotmail.com ❤ The reasons for my migraines is stress, im pretty sure. I gotta actually do my work and turn crap in this six weeks. <3!!!!!!

Rain, Smurfs & Fairytales, xoxo, hil*

Hey lovers….it’s been a slightly ok day. I have this horrid headache that I’ve had since like yesterday and it’s killing me slowly. I feel like saying “YOOOOOOO” just once. So let me do it. YOOOOOOO! Okay, I feel so much better now. I can’t wait to be a bandaid!! I wish just one of you actually had seen Almost Famous and knew what I meant by that. I wanna make somebody a layout and then them use it so I can say “Mmhmm, I layed you.” Haha, wouldn’t that be funny? Yeah, you’re supposed to laugh.

I watched Goldmember in P.E. today and laughed alot. That movie has to be the greatest thing since forever. My head REALLY hurts. I’ve eaten alot today. Spaghetti a minute ago. That’s why I woke up. Along with the fact that I wanna read my sister my poems and I needa talk to Jessica before tomorrow…and I’m waiting on a call from Tiffany. And I have homework on here. On some writer, I forget his name.

I’m going to Monroe on Saturday with Jessica ‘n her mom. We’re going to get HIM’s new cd (that comes out TOMORROW!) I’m SO excited. We’re gonna catch a movie, too. This is gonna be quality Me, Jess ‘n her mom time. It’s gonna be great. I should call Aaron and tell him that, I think he’d laugh because I was talkin’ about Jessica’s mom. I hear “Wake Me Up When September Ends” on my radio. That song is SO gorgeous.

I REFUSE to live in the past. From this point forward, I hate no one, I love no one, I hold no grudges, I feel no guilt. ‘N i’ve said that before..

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School sucks right now. I have tons of crap to do because everything is due because of the end of the six weeks. I didn’t turn anything in the first six weeks and I have to finish it all before tomorrow. And I haven’t started. Plus, it’s 8:30 pm.

I haven’t watched Degrassi or Laguna Beach in forever. I miss my tv shows. I didn’t even watch Oprah or Dr. Phil today…that depresses me. I love my friends-they are psychotic. Sam is wonderful. She cares -oh, so much- about me. Yay, I hear….music. YAY, It’s FALL OUT BOY! Drop a heart, Break a name! My head needs to stop hurting. I love being random, don’t you know it. Sugar, We’re going down swinging…..I’ll be your number one with a bullet. “Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.” I wish I could go to the beach and make the sky purplish pink ‘cuz I honestly think that would be the bomb….aww…the bomb.

Do not judge a book by it’s cover, nor a poem by it’s words, for the moment you think of the words, you stop thinking like a poet, focus only on the emotions behind it all, then and only then will you find something beautiful.

Who I am hates who I’ve been.

I like this picture. I hate having a heart sometimes… while it gives you the ability to love and care, it also gives you the ability to hurt, to feel pain, to miss people, miss gentle words and whispers…. oh well.

~Miss You~
I’m no perfect queen,
No hollywood set with the perfect scene,
I’m just a girl who misses the boy,
Who made her feel like she had everything.

I’m no walk in the park,
If at all I’m a trip in the dark,
I’m just a girl who sees the boy,
Who branded her heart and left a mark.

YESSSSSS. I hear Gorillaz now!

Your sparkling eyes
Why I should I believe you this time
How do I know they’re not more lies?
Your tears fall like acid rain
Oh, how you take my breath away
The tears drip from your baby blues
I get myself so lost in you
I don’t know what to say, and what not to.

My personal goal for this week: Control my temper when it comes to my mom. Lord knows I’m gonna need some help with this one….

What should I be for Halloween? Can I be Ville Valo? ‘cuz he’s sexy.

Rain, Smurfs & Fairytales, xoxo, hil*

–edit– Migraine last night and this morning. No school for the Hil. Anyway, THE NEW HIM CD COMES OUT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY! I’m excited…so much. YAAAAAY!

Tremonti887: ok now i know your bands, but if you were going to an island and only got to bring 3 cds what would they be??
BlueRainBliss: oh wow
BlueRainBliss: Hm…..HIM’s greatest hits, Kenny Chesney’s When the sun goes down & *sigh* umm..i’d compile my favorite staind songs lol
Tremonti887: lol
BlueRainBliss: u??
Tremonti887: so do you like every kind of music known to man??
BlueRainBliss: yep
BlueRainBliss: well im not so big on rap, i love eminem though
Tremonti887: mine would be alter bridge-one day remains, some sort of grunge compilation, and guns n roses-use your illusion I & II
Tremonti887: i dont like any kind of rap
BlueRainBliss: lol
Tremonti887: its not even a music form to me
BlueRainBliss: i can get in weird moods and listen to rap though
Tremonti887: its a beat with someone talking real fast
BlueRainBliss: hahaha yep
BlueRainBliss: but its fun

I’ve had a pretty good day. I talked to Jessica for a bit on the tele which was, as always, cool. Then I wrote another horrible sad poem. I’ll post it when I get 5 comments on the poetry site. www.xanga.com/ordinaryaintgoodenough !!!

I wrote Sam an email…..wrote Aunt Dolores a letter….yep yep. So it’s time for bed. Love you all so much.

For the kids who think I’ve changed: *cough* Jeff *cough*

“And some people seem to think that I’ve changed
That I’m different than I was back then
But in my soul, I know that I’m the same way
That I’ve really always been”

Rain, Smurfs & Fairytales, xoxo, hil*

hey loves. check out my pretty sad mascara runnin pic!!! <—-

I’m supposed to be at church but I didnt get up early enough for Sunday school and im supposed to leave for church in 15 min but daddy is asleep…cuz he dont feel good at all. I prolly will just let him sleep..although I’m ready to go. Well ttyl….. ❤ yall…come on with them comments….thank you will for dissing my music once again and thank you sam for being my best friend!

“I did it all just for love”

Rain, Music & Poetry, xoxo, hil*

I wrote a new poem last night…it’s kinda scary to think I wrote it…but i’ll post it on the site lata. ❤

I love how I can lay on my floor in the dark writing poetry listening to Good Charlotte as loud as I can get it to drown out everything else….. and they still think it’s a great time to come steal the DVD player so I can’t listen to my music. I frickin’ LOVE it. And then they yell at me. Because it’s great for Hilary to be just more upset. It’s so FRICKING wonderful to make Hilary cry! Ooh, let’s do that.

It’s a great time when you KNOW Hilary’s upset…to do something you KNOW is going to make her more upset. I mean, I ordered food..i’m listening to the depressive Good Charlotte songs..I’m in the dark..I’m laying on my FLOOR! But i’m HAPPY…yeah, right.

He’s still fussing at me about anything and everything. I don’t have my depressive music. I can’t stop crying. He’s still at it. Just shut up. Oh, words I’d love to write in my “journal”. This isn’t a journal. I can’t write my feelings in this crap. I have a cramp in my foot now. Rachel dropped the fan on my food…so now I can’t eat. I wanted to eat and be depressed..I WANTED TO RUIN MY DIET..or my not eatingness. I just wanted a frickin’ strawberry slush and lay on my floor and listen to HIM and cry over memories, but no!!! I get to sit here on the internet. I should call Aaron back and talk to him about this crap, cuz he’s been there…He is there. His parents yell all the time…I love his mom, though. Ethan’s gone for the weekend and Aaron isn’t feeling well. Talking about Aaron makes me feel better (swhat me n Jess always say). Aaron gets to go make his demo cd in like a week or maybe a bit longer. He talked to the “dude” today. He needs to talk to Lee and find his band members..That would make me really happy. He’s talking about future when they’re popular plans already, haha. But after this demo, they’re gonna make the real cd. And he’s already thinking about the 2nd cd…and a video…and a concert. He’s gonna come play for us though. He wants to film his video here…so something cool can happen in Caldwell. Isn’t that sweet of him? haha. I miss him. He’s supposed to call Hilary tomorrow. He told me to call him later tonight, but I didn’t feel like it at the time. I put him in the mood for skateboarding, though..after 2 hours of talking to me.

I just wanna be his friend, mmkay? Nothing more, but definitely nothing less. I talked to Tyler for a sec today, but he had to go put a shirt on cuz he was like…cleaning out the pool. “I’m FREEEEEZING!” I miss him, too.

Okay, I’m going to unplug this laptop (because I don’t give a…um….crap if my parents….um….gripe about it.) and play my depressive music on it. I’m tired of hearing them laugh watching that movie. I hate hearing people laugh when i’m upset.

Well, words that rhyme with well, xoxo, hil*

It’s Halloween all year here,
people dressing up to be somebody theyre not.

Woohoo, hey there everybody. How’s it goin? Windy? Rainy? Stormy? Messy? Crazy? Yeah, I can relate….this weather is out of control, kids. A tree fell in my front yard and they’re all swaying out the window like they’re singing the alma mater. Speaking of the alma mater, yesterday was fantabulous!!!

Homecoming was so sweet! I CRIED! I cried because Kaylin looked so beautiful!! Like Belle! My gorgeous big sister!!! Awww! So yeah, I cried.. then when Mandy won and Jessica got to crown her, I started crying again!!! It was so precious…the whole event. So yeah, Mandy won Queen and Monet won Princess… I took a picture with Kaylin afterwards!!! (Even though I looked like mega crap!) Sam came and got me and we went to her house and then I went to my house and threw clothes on and then went to the game with her and Julie!

The game was so great…we won 20-19. It was a V-E-R-Y close call. Me & Sam screamed like crazy and didn’t sit down the entire last 2 quarters, woohoo. It was awesome as EVER! WE SAW JAAAAAAAAAAMES! I saw him at halftime but he was didn’t say anything to me..then I saw him and he said he was in a bad mood..(cuz he was losing? what? ha) We finally saw him after the game…when we won..and he was like I’m not mad…I’m NOT jealous! I’m not mad, blah blah. But, It was so awesome to see him even if we didnt get to talk long. I was soooo hyper, too! I sang the alma mater REALLY loud…hahaha! It rained throughout the whole game and I was soaking wet by the end. We saw James by his bus afterwards and I was like I LOVE YOU!!!! hahaha. I had sooo much fun.

Me, Sam, Julie & Jeff went to Johnnys n ate breadsticks n cheesesticks, yum yum. It was pretty fun! And then we all choked on pepper spray. Came back to Sam’s and just stayed with her…not that I told my Mom I was going to until midnight-lol. Went to bed early, slept til 12 today…then watched football and did stuff. Worried about the hurricane forever. I finally talked to everybody I was worried about. First I called Arlene to make sure she was ok & she was heading home but unsure they were gonna let her in. Next I called Coty and he’s doin good, too. When I got home, I called Aaron and talked to his mom for a minute and they’re good. Then, I called Aunt Sharon & they’re all groovy. I got online and JEN JEN was on, thank God cuz I was about to call her and she’s ok too!

I’m supposed to call Aaron back..like oh wow, 30 minutes ago cuz he went somewhere with his stepdad. So i should probably do that. I’ll talk to you cats LATAZ! ❤ Rain, Smurfs & Fairytales, xoxo, hil*

Wow, I just talked to Aaron on the phone for two hours. Everytime I call him, we talk forevers. It’s sooooo crazy. It’s like..we can’t get off the phone. We talked about his band forevers. Well, anyways……….ttyl.

Hey folks….Whats up? Yesterday was great…so great! School was ok even! After school, me n Jessica went to….HOT TOPIC! We both got pretty HIM shirts…and HIM buttons…and I bought the HIM DVD of the Wings of a Butterfly video…I tried to talk to the guy with the mohawk but he wouldn’t talk very much..so I was like FINE..and went to Spencers and talked to the DARTH VADER GUY!!! He’s so great! lol We were like…”I can’t hear anything you’re saying” “I can’t hear anything YOU’RE saying!” “Then how did you hear that?” “Then how did YOU hear that?” lol ❤ And I bought a Green Day bracelet…went to Romancing the Stone…then ran to the car & came home. We listened to awesome music all the way home and up there….Green Day, Staind, Fall Out Boy, HIM….yesssss. ❤

I stayed at Jessica’s until like….9:30. Her memaw took us to McDonalds…yumm! We watched the Wings of A butterfly video…..like…..were shocked cuz it’s so awesome…listened to Mr. SEXY HIMSELF talk=) YUM, he’s sexy! Omigosh…we walked around JEssica’s last night….and I started crying. They put gravel on MY road….our..road…our skateboarding road…but we found something….we found Tyler’s cookie bag..with molded cookies….gosh I miss Tyler. YOOOOOOOOO! ❤

School was great today in my HIM shirt…me n Jessica were like yeah..we’re hott, lol. Esp with our converse & HIM buttons on ’em…..yeeeeeep. ANYWAY….CARL pulled the chair out from under me today..but I didnt fall lol..he so laughed at me though. And plus, he STILL wont talk to me. I sold lots of candybars today, MMHMM!

But O…M…G…!!!!! What’s going on with RITA? Everybody’s evacuating! Like everybody south of I-10 did…and now they’re saying people from North of I-10 needa start coming up. Lasalle’s out of school tomorrow. We’re not, though. Homecoming is so gonna be rained out and i’m so sad about that. I’m wondering what Aaron’s gonna do. I’m just freaking out about each and every itty bitty thing.

I don’t feel like going to the tailgate party, so I refuse. Oh yes, Aunt Dolores sent me a package in the mail today…..A gorgeous sterling silver charm bracelet with a heart charm that says Hilary on the front and on the back says 7-23-05…the day of her wedding. She’s so wonderful; I cried. I have tons of crap to do before tomorrow, but i’m sleepy so hopefully, I’ll get a quick nap sometime….

…Just one of them days a girl goes through.. I just wanna be all alone, when you think i treat you wrong, dont take it personal…

I need a new layout. This one is ugly. Imma find one once I update. I wish I had a blue guitar. Omg, I just watched the news….It might not rain out the game after all, but….you should see all that green stuff coming into New Orleans..up to Baton Rouge….Well im gone….hope somebody calls me later. <3<3<3<3<3<3

High Hopes, Homecoming & Hurricanes, xoxo, hil*

–edit–Oh my…..167084604864 people filled up their cars tonight..some people were taking gas to people who broke down on the road cuz the traffic is so backed up. Now, I hate country music. I’m so sleepy….and the hurricane will kill us all.

Ugggggh……*whines* I can’t open my chocolate soldier. I’m eatin a cocoa puff milk n cereal bar, yum yum. Thanks for the comments, loves! ❤ Made me happy as all get out.

Yesterday was great…jersey day…didn’t have a jersey. Today’s camo day but i’m not a hick like most Caldwellians….oh, forgive me, Cal-wellians…ha. Please open my chocolate soldier. I’ve got soul, but i’m not a soldier….HAHA! YAY, my mommy opened it-yum. h/o, lemme go make her toast. Mmkay, back to you guys. So yesterday was great. Today might not be so great cuzza I have a 50 word biology test!!! *yeeeeek*

You know what guys? Me & Jessica Alger..are so close now. We talk on the phone everynight..for hours and we’re just SO cool. We weren’t like that before Aaron came about…so he did something GOOD! He brought us together…and we’re awesome like never before! hahaha “Eat a rock, Ethan…Eat a rock.” “Hi, my name’s JESSICA!” ❤ We talked forever last night and made up the words to songs and laughed and screamed and just acted like teenage girls again…it was so great! She talked to Aaron yesterday..but he doesn’t answer when Hilary calls, lol. Actually, he’s just not there…because…you know. TYLER answered…but I didn’t know it was him. Boo. My HIM cd skips like crazy.

I’m going to MOnroe today with Jessica and her mommy to buy…HIM SHIRTS! I’m so excited! We gotta get some shirt paint, toooo so we can make….CALDWELL SHIRTS! That say…..”St. Mary’s coaches are like…losers” Or something, hahaha. But anyway, it’s gonna be fun.

It’s time to go, so comment me…love you guys. Rain, Smurfs, & Chocolate Milk, xoxo, hil*

Not updating until I get comments on what I wrote about!!!!

Do we have any local bands anymore??? Cuz i’m ready for there to be some.

***I know that i love you but i dont know in
what way cause my emotions keep changin
day after day,there are days that i love
you and days that i dont..days id like
to be friends and days that i wont..
days ill pick up the phone and give you
a call..days im so sad i dont want to
talk to you at all..days i look back
at the things that we shared..days i
question myself if you even care..
theres so many things i wish i could say
but scared it will come out in the wrong way***

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Today has been…okay. Coach Johnson moved Jessica today!! I talked to Carl in the hall and he ignored me again. Duke pushed me into the WALL!!! I ran around taking pictures, talking about Aaron & Tyler & Friday night with Jessica in PE.. Jessica broke my freakin’ clear bracelet. Clear was the first color Aaron ever broke, hehe. “Black means something dirrrrty.” “No joke…they all mean something dirrrrty.” “You don’t wanna know..” “Then why would I have asked?” haha I love Jessica! Kaylin was delirious in third hour..and Ooh Ooh, Hilary tried to throw the football into the cup!! I almost made it like…twice. Did calculator work in Alg 2 and faught with Jeff because he’s mean to me. Wrote Kylie & Megan at lunch, said my alphabeto in espanol, did definitions in Biology…faught more with Jeff because…. i’m a hypocrite, says he. I stayed after school for tutoring today so I could make up the 3 question Alg 2 test I just couldn’t POSSIBLY make up during class.

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Nothin’s better than Dr. Pepper. Besides Coke. Coke is the shizzleeee on the rizzleeeeee……my NIZZLE!!! Emo boys make me giggle

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I’m freaking out because of this “tropical storm”..just like I freaked about Katrina. I wonder where it’s going to hit. Please don’t be bad…..please don’t be bad…Is it gonna hit New Orleans? Aaron’s grandparents came over to Jessica’s today to bring her granola bars…(don’t ask, thank you very much.) and they said they’re going home to get some stuff and coming back up here before this thing hits…what’s it’s name? Like…Rita? *saves that laugh for Sam* Does New Orleans have a plan this time? I hear the residents are gonna be able to stay there unless Rita turns into a hurricane…Come on people, haven’t you learned your lesson? EVACUATE! I think i’m gonna call Aaron’s mom and tell her that. And Uncle Blake. Maybe Uncle Blake will come see us this time.

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Woohoo, I get Miss Nikki’s camera tomorrow to take pictures…Pictures..are my thing. Me & Jessica talked on the phone earlier and watched Oprah together…we freakin’ rock. Oprah has cute dogs..like three of them. Jessica & I were sickminded earlier. I was first, then her, then me. The last two were hilarious. Second was about me, her and Aaron. The third one was about Me, Justin & Tyler…I miss that Justin kid. How old is he now…like 13?

And now for the rant that’s been rumbling around in my head:

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I am SO SICK of all the Bush-haters blaming everything (and I mean *everything* — sunspots, the Earth’s gravitational pull, gas prices, hurricanes, etc.) on President Bush. Or the federal government, even. All of those people out there just waiting to say “I told you so” (whom, I might add, have not had much chance to rightfully say so in the last five years) try to squeeze it in at any time they can. This whole Katrina thing is merely an example; there are numerous times where people just can’t get over it and feel the need to blame the head honcho. We’re all human, people…we’re all going to make mistakes. People in this country rant and rave at the top of their lungs without knowing the facts. No, Bush isn’t the greatest President ever to have lived….and anyway, how can you define a “great” President? It always depends on who you talk to. But George W. Bush is a compassionate, determined, and yes SMART man who knows what he wants and always has his heart in the right place. He isn’t malicious, he doesn’t have a “master plan” to ruin America, he isn’t out to make the poor and destitute poorer and more destitute…. but people will always find something to gripe about. And these “gripers” make it seem like most of America hates Bush, but really….these people just yell louder than those who are content in what they know is right. Of course it’s their right to yell and scream out whatever they want but in the end… Bush was elected — TWICE, no less — for a reason. Deal with it, people.