I’m too bored here. I can’t wait for my interview on Monday. I hope it brings me good news.

I feel like everything is really changing now. A change different from all I’ve ever known. I hung out with Eric yesterday. All my friends constantly do the same ole thing. It really drives me crazy. *shrugs* I’m going to see my little baby Bryan 😀

peace…give it a chance.

So, quit your crying, and wipe the tears from your eyes. Cause this is “see you later.” I’m not into goodbyes. Watch the brake lights as I leave your driveway. The warm nights will stay beside me, no matter where I go. Think of you later in my empty room, where I will fall asleep alone.

I’ve been staying up all night and then sleeping all day. Hellll yeah, it’s summertime. 🙂 And I enjoy it completely.

I hung out with Morgan and Ben the past two nights. They’re amazing. 🙂 Ben makes me laugh a lot and Morgan is just wonderful!

 

Jeska is in Shreveport again. Imagine that. I guess being alone is a symptom of growing old.

I got to see Bre last night and it made me very happy. I wanna live with her.

I didn’t do it..even though I had the chance. I let it slip away. Was it watching out for myself? Or was I just scared?

 

Ben is moving back to Louisiana. I wish Morgan was. I don’t understand how they can seperate like that.

    I hope you know you’re driving me crazy. I’m growing more anxious by the second. The unknown really is frightening.
    It’s probably my fault. I apologize for always assuming the worst. It’s just that when you think the worst, the reality of the situation doesn’t seem so bad.
    You’ve got the cold war reenacting itself in the pit of my stomach. It’s the tension. I have to say, I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.
    I hope I’m not being too hasty, but it only takes a second to dial my number.
    A second of your time is all I ask for.

 

 

 

I hung out with Fisk & Heather tonight. 🙂

And now I’m eatin sunflower seeds. And drinkin cream soda ^.^

Yep, it’s surely summer.

I feel like there’s so many people in my life that could really love me, but I won’t open up to them. I don’t know how. I’ve lost myself. Everytime I open up to someone, it backfires on me. I barely opened up to Jessica at all. Which was definitely a good thing because she’s done with me, too.

I still have dreams about you. I know I’m over you, so why does it keep happening?

I still don’t know what I want or how to get it. I’m as confused as ever. And the people who I need to talk to…aren’t ever around.

I really hope Jeska is back from Shreveport by Friday so she can go to SC with me. I really need to spend some time with her. I just need to hold ONE conversation with her. She gets me. Please come home. Please.

I don’t know where I want to live or where I want to work. I don’t want to be too far from you. I’m losing my inspiration. I just thought “this is my time with you until we both change for good.” And I haven’t thought that in a while. I think we need another talk. I think you need it this time just as much as I.

Without you, I fall into my old self.

Christian schools help you to have good (or better) morals and usually have a better education. However, you are shielded from the world. You rebel too late in life and it seriously robs you of your adolescence. Just sayin, yo.

 

This is life’s biggest question…you never know.

Rusty is talking, talking, talking…because that’s what he does. Silly silly Rusty.

Rusty and Matt are writing country music. . .a country, fighting song for the club. Country boys should go to the lake. . .

Things I Want

to ride around in the back of the truck while my daddy drives the back roads at night and i look at the stars and sing old country songs 🙂

my own house where i can sit on the front porch swing and smoke cigarettes in peace

to hear less of the “fucking bitches” conversation. . .

my best friend and i to actually hang out and have real conversations together and ride around like old times and actually care what the other has to say …where drugs don’t matter anymore.

to spend summer days walking around my land with amanda when we weren’t texting our friends constantly..and where we would do stupid shit together all the time and laugh about it for hours 🙂

to read a book with my sister and sleep on her floor ❤

 

^^ This is what I really want. I don’t want it to be like our adventures in Monroe. I want…things to be real. I miss life being real.

 

 

 

 

 

I know how it feels for the people you love to be throwing their lives away tokin’ up

all the time..

I’m thinking about moving in with Melissa.

Yes, I know.

I hung out with Rusty and Kori today. I don’t know what made me so against their relationship in the first place. She’s not bad at all! In fact, I love her. Hanging out with her & Rusty is fun..and more than just smoking weed all the time.

I want my TATTOO!!!!!!

 

I’m kind of a hypocrite, but not for

long.

 

All weekend long without altering my mind 🙂

I’m taking this one day at a time!!!

Rusty and I are doing fantastic in that department!

Friday, I ate dinner with my Mom and then I hung out with Hill, Rusty, Kaci & Kori.

Saturday, I went to Sam’s graduation, picked up my laptop, bought Skillet tickets, went to Jessica and Scott’s wedding and then stayed the night with Heather && she dyed my roots! =]

Today, I hung out with the family and then went and saw Skillet with Rusty! We had so much fun! I LOOOOVE everything about Skillet!

While everybody else was getting high, I was still having fun and enjoying myself in sobriety!! I LOVE IT!

I love Rusty for helping me with this.. He’s such a true friend. I wish my parents could see that..

I miss piano. It was something I enjoyed. I’m thinking about rediscovering some passions.

I’m ready for a road trip whenever you are!

I’d also like to paint.

Hmm, I hate girly stuff like fashion. I think fashion is a bunch of bullshit. I’d rather wear cut off shorts, a tank top and walk around barefoot than wear your trendy dresses and juicy couture shit. Seriously? I can buy my shit from Target and look like a freakin doll!

It rained on us in line today. It was actually kind of nice. Raining on Sunday..what a beautiful thing. 🙂

This life is over

 

 

I’m so over it

 

 

Thanks for pointing that out to me

I have scabies.

I feel nasty.

It better be gone tomorrow.

New favorite song atm::

You’re so ridiculous

Ever since you gave me a second look
I can read you like an open book
All the ways you tried to say how you felt
Sounded funny, but you made me melt

I’ve stayed blown away
Lovin’ everything you say
Oh, baby, you sound ridiculous
Laugh out loud, you stand out in a crowd
Oh, baby, you’re so ridiculous
(You’re so ridiculous)

Where do you get the words that come out of your mouth?
I hope it’s me that you’re still talkin’ about
I know you think that I’m the crazy one
I think that I’m just havin’ way more fun

I’ve stayed blown away
Lovin’ everything you say
Oh, baby, you sound ridiculous
Laugh out loud, you stand out in a crowd
Oh, baby, you’re so ridiculous

Your magic’s addictive
Now I know why I’m livin’
We’ll never be over
I’ve found my four leaf clover
Your magic’s addictive
Now I know why I’m livin’
We’ll never be over
I’ve found my four leaf clover

Ever since you gave me a second look
I can read you like an open book
All the ways you tried to say how you felt
Sounded funny, but you made me melt

I’ve stayed blown away
Lovin’ everything you say
Oh, baby, you sound ridiculous
Laugh out loud, you stand out in a crowd
Oh, baby, you’re so ridiculous

I’ve stayed blown away
Lovin’ everything you say
Oh, baby, you sound ridiculous
Laugh out loud, you stand out in a crowd
Oh, baby, you’re so ridiculous