Pull my strings just for a thrill And I know I’ll be okay though my skies are turning gray

What are you most proud of? I’m pretty proud of how I’ve turned out. I know I’m crazy and can be not the best person, but I could be so much worse. I’m just proud of how I’ve grown up. I’m not a little kid anymore and I’ve realized it. I like who I am. I’m proud of myself.

Tuesday..I went to the eye doctor! I love my eye doctor..seriously. They’re all so cute there like a little family! Me and the girls picked out glasses..haha. I look like a NERD! But I love them and they loved them, so I bought them! They are really cute..just not so cute on me. I honestly look like a dumb college kid pretending to be smart.

I tried out for speech yesterday and made it, of course. It seriously makes me happy to think that I’m in speech. I’m not the try out kind of girl. I freeze up. I forget. I basically freak out. But I did alright. I did screw up, but it was fun. I’m tired of being intimidated. I’m ready to stand up and just be me. Me and Rachel went to Monroe yesterday to get the trail blazer from the airport because Dock went back to work. *sadness* Rachel went to the Mall so I went with her to bug her. She bought some jeans and I bought a Nirvana shirt that I’m in love with. I also saw Brad. Which was interesting. He didn’t see me. But honestly, it was just the feeling of..even if he would’ve seen me, he would’ve ignored me. And that basically sucked.

I lit my pain on fire
And I watched it all burn down
Now I’m dancing in the ashes
And theres no one else around
Cause I wanna be apart of something
This is just a story of a broken soul
– Papa Roach

Life has been major suckage this week. I mean, it’s that time of the year..the Aaron time of the year..when I remember my lovely emo-ness. So today, me and Austin are in the car, he looks at me and says “Hilary, are you emo?” Niiiiiice. Anyway, today is Brad’s birthday..which makes me seriously insane..so it’s not a day to mess with me.

So, I went shopping.

Or…me ‘n Jeska went shopping. Major girltiming. I loved it. We both bought new bras..<3 And both got new purses and new earrings! Jeska bought other random things as well. We ended the night with Subway sandwiches, people watching and Starbucks. Gotta love that girltime. Green shirt boy and Austin make me smile. Masked crazy guys make me nervous. This weekend shall include gaming, Funroeness and church times.

I love the way that we laugh until we cry
Dance until we die
I love the smile with which you look at me and say
Get ready for this
And we get ready for this
– The Almost

I’m reading a niiiice book. I finished one this week about sibling relationships and Venice. The one I’m reading now is called “For One More Day” and Mrs. Folds said I’m going to cry. That’s funny. I cry in every book.

It’s three o’clock in the morning,
and I’m hungry so let’s eat.
Climb down three flights to the streetlights
and the bar-fights, we’re just taking in the sights.
I hope tomorrow that I wake up in my own bed.
– Barenaked Ladies

You’re cynical and beautiful
You always make a scene
You’re monochrome, delerious
You’re nothing that you seem
I’m drownin in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You’re dirty and you’re sweet
You know you’re everything to me
– Goo Goo Dolls