Fight war, not wars. Destroy power, not people.

If you wanna be honest, most things are really sucking for me right now.

I only have 11 days of school left and it’s not soon enough and also way too fastly approaching. I have to finish my memory book in six days and it’s not even halfway assembled. I’m really stressed about that. I don’t have enough time because I work pretty often. But now, I can’t quit my job until I start college.

Last night, I wrecked the cavalier. I was driving around with Jeska in Monroe and I was turning around because I didn’t know where we were and I was ready to come home… There was a lot of traffic out, so I was waiting patiently. The outside traffic lane stopped and one guy was going to let me out. I waited for a minute to see if anybody was coming and on my side they weren’t. So, I looked to the guy to see if anybody was coming that way. He motioned for me to pull out, so I did. That guy was an idiot though. Somebody was coming and they rammed right into my car. It was really scary. I really thought I was dead this time. I probably should’ve been. But luckily, Jeska and I were both fine. Also, the guy who ran into me was fine. Thank God. He was really nice about it and kept telling me it was okay and everything was going to be fine. But he was like, “You know..I just washed this car.” haha. At the end he said, “Seriously love, don’t worry about it. I was looking for a reason to get rid of this anyway.” The cops were terrible to me and I was so upset. Amber and Andrea showed up to console me and I reallllly appreciated that.

But now I’m without a vehicle..and it’s just..sad. I can’t get to and from work or school. I’ll never get to be alone again. *cries*

I skipped school on Tuesday w/ Jeska & Megan. We went to Alexandria with Ariel and played in the mall and hobby lobby all day. I bought Dazed and Confused and Blow, two of my FAVORITE movies!Whenever we went to Walmart, Sam saw us..and she told my sister on me? I know, it’s pretty dumb. And it hurt my feelings! I don’t understand why someone would do that to their best friend? Who knows! But it’s cool, ya know. My sister hasn’t told on me yet, but she is holding it over my head..it sucks a lot.

He’s my biggest downfall and I don’t know why.

I’ve been really upset and let down and lonely lately. Been crying myself to sleep most nights and at random times during the day. Any time I get free time at school, I fall asleep. I’m just unhappy. Like when I told Will that Sam told on me, he was like..wow..like you don’t have enough shit going on already! And it’s true..but some people don’t necessarily understand things like that. But, it’s really nothing I can do! Just avoid those situations, I guess.

I sat with Jeska during a panic attack yesterday. I feel so bad for her when she has them because they suck so much.

Jeska was riding with me the other day and she said “” and it made me smile.

I’m tired of being judged <.<;; People who used to “love me through anything and nothing would hinder that” are like being extremely horrid to me! Except for Jody and Rusty and Justin Primm. I’ve been talking to them off and on every 5 seconds for the last 2 days ish. They make me feel better. All three of them hate when I smoke..but you know, they don’t judge me for it. They love me anyway. I like people like that. =]

Jeska talked to me about how I should be myself around everyone day before yesterday. Hah. Maybe we can learn that lesson together?